Kids jokes
Kid: Hi.
Janitor: Wtf you want, kid?
Kid: Why are you rude?
Janitor: 'Cause I have a shitty job.
Teacher: What’s the closest planet?
Kids yell: Sun.
Except for one.
Other kid: Uranus.
Teacher: Uranus?
Other kid: Yeah, it’s right there.
A kid went to visit his bully, and he says, "How's your face?" The kid says, "How's your parents?" and proceeds to walk out of the orphanage.
I pushed a kid in a wheelchair into a fire and called it "Hot Wheels."
So, every time I walk in the door, my kid shuts his laptop. So, I check his history. It was good, but my wife checked mine, and she didn't say the same. The words I heard were, "Get out!"
One day every kid at the orphanage got coal for Christmas. It was the second worst day of their lives.
I saw some kid following me, so I told him to go back to his family.
Orphan: "What family?"
Why did the emo kid try [to] high five the tree?
So it can hang him.
A kid goes into a restaurant without parents, and a waitress came up and said, "You have to leave; this is a family restaurant."
What do you call an epileptic kid?
Little Seizures.
These cannibal kids come running into the cave and ask their mom what's for dinner? She says, "Dad's gonna grill wieners!"
What's an autistic kid's favorite transformer?
Autistemist Prime.
Dark humor is like food:
Not everyone gets it.
Or a kid with cancer, it never gets old.
What is the best way to kill a special ed kid?
Call them retarded.
What time is it when your kids stay home from school? S'no time!
When the emo kid is about to hang himself in the school bathroom, and the autistic kid starts swinging the rope like Indiana Jones!
What's yellow and can't swim? A bus full of kids.
Why did Oliver have no friends?
His last name was Clothesoff, and all the other kids would get in trouble whenever they would ask to play with Oliver Clothesoff.
Why is Peter Pan always flying? He Neverlands!
Where do sheep go to get their hair cut? The baa-baa shop.
Why did Adele cross the road? To sing, “Hello from the other side!”
How do trees access the internet? They log in.
Did you get them? Me neither. I mean, it is worst jokes ever. I'm kidding, I actually do understand them.
A teacher is teaching a class algebra. Timmy, you've worked out it is AK, but what is 59 minus 12? Timmy shakes his head, not knowing. The teacher asks, "How about AK 49 minus 2?" Timmy replies with um... The teacher becomes frustrated and yells, "What comes after AK, Timmy!?" The white kid at the back stands, shouts 47, and pulls the trigger.