Kids jokes

Mom says: "I will go kill myself."

Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*

Some time later me fighting with my mom:

Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"

Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"

Lesson?

So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

A father is talking to his three kids.

Kid 1: Why is my name Rose?

Dad: Because when you were a kid, a rose fell on your head.

Kid 2: Why is my name Lily?

Dad: Because a lily fell on your head when you were a baby.

Kid 3: Auughhghhhggghhh!

Dad: Oh hey, Brick.

I kicked a soccer ball at a kid in a wheelchair and said, "Rocket League!"

Why can't a Chinese kid play baseball?

They ate the bat!

I saw a kid crying, so I asked them where their parents were.

God, I love working at an orphanage!

These are bee puns.🐝

I BEElieve you are eager to hear!🐝

I love to BEE a little 9 years old writing on this page.🐝

(Last one) I want to BEEcome a BEE. ;-; I kid... Like this now and please Subscribe to Kelly Qin on YouTube and she is my mom and she has a bake channel!

Teacher makes 1 kid recite the ABCs and the other count to 10.

Teacher: You can kill 2 birds with 1 stone.

Little Johnny goes home and throws a rock at two birds. One dies. He gives his dad a concussion from the rock hitting his head.

Johnny at school: You can kill a bird and give a man a concussion.

Why do women buy clothes from the kids section? Because rapists prey on the weak.

What do you call a virgin kid locked in a room with a pedophile? Past tense.

I got detention one day. I don’t know why; I only slapped the emo kid on the wrist.

Why do Roman Catholics have so many kids?

So there’s more for the priest.

One day I walk up to an emo kid. I realized he had a fresh cut, so I grab my hand and slap his wrist and told him, "I like ya cut, G!"

What do you call a disabled kid who is blind?

A grape chilli bean.

How do you name a Chinese kid?

Throw a frying pan on their head, "Ching Chong!"

Did you hear about the emo kid that tried to high-five a tree? It left him hanging.

I saw a kid crying yesterday, and I asked him, "Where are your parents?" Then he started crying harder.

What do you call a white kid at the back of class?

A school shooter.

A kid goes to bed with his dad because he’s scared of the dark. Turns out he just wanted to have sex.

Why does every emo kid try to be like Tarzan? So they can swing on the vine.