Back

Kids jokes

Average Kid: brings mp3 to school.

Rich Kid: Brings mp4 to school.

Quiet Kid: Brings an mp5.

I saw a kid crying and I asked him, "Where are his parents?"

God, I love working at orphanages!

The moment when she tells you: "I'm a virgin. Be gentle!" And you tell her, "Don't worry, I used to work with kids."

What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...

They're both plastic and kids turn them on.

Why didn't the pirate write a letter to his mom?

Are you kidding me?!?

What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?

Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.

If the teacher tells you to stand up if you're not gay and there's that one kid in the wheelchair.

There was a new kid in my school. The first thing the teacher said was, "Me, you, the basement NOW!"

One day I told a kid what 2 x 12 was. He said he didn't know. I said let's go to my basement and figure it out. He is still in my basement trying to do the equation.

My mum found a chest that was wet, and it had a child in it. She asked me what it was for. I said I put kids in it and chuck it in a river until they are dead.

Yesterday I had a party in my basement.

I got questioned a lot about 5 dead kids in the corner shut in a box. I did that when I was 13, damn I forgot about them!

Yesterday I had a party.

I got questioned about five dead kids locked up in a box.

I did that when I was 13. Damn, I forgot about them!

My builder was extending my basement when he questioned me because he found three dead kids in a corner tied together.

How many kids does it take to change a light bulb? Apparently not 343,646 because my basement is still as dark as yours.