Kids jokes
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!
New Teacher: "I was an orphan as a kid."
Students: "Sad"
Teacher: "Anyway, is anyone missing?"
Students: "Your parents!"
What do you call a kid on the track team who isn't on the track team?
A school shooter.
What do you call a white kid at the back of class?
A school shooter.
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
How are an emo kid and a hanging child the same?
Depends on who's hanging.
Q: Why did the emo kid get jealous on Xmas?
A: He saw the ornaments hanging.
Who comes once a year and makes your kids cry?
Rapey Santa.
Good news, people! Michael Jackson is still alive. They found him hidden away in a goat pen with all the kids!
What do you get when you have a class of kids and a speeding car?
A 24 killstreak!
As a kid, I used to eat a sour herb from a certain spot near a rock.
Now I pee on it, just following the ritual of Africa.
When you get suspended from school for giving the deaf kid AirPods for his birthday.