Kids jokes

Onion

  • What's the difference between onions and children? Nothing, when you cut one everyone around you cries.

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    Hospital

  • I went to the mental hospital. I asked one of the kid what its favorite animal was. They said a bird. I asked for a reason. It's because they both jump off roofs.

  • 0
  • Orphanage

  • This kid was crying, so I asked him where his parents were. He just cried harder. I still remember him every time I pass that orphanage.

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    Kidnapping

  • I tried kidnapping a kid today and told him I was his dad's friend and I would take him home. He just curled up into a ball and started crying. Kidnapping must be easy.

  • 6
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    Emo kid

  • How many emo kids does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None, they all sit in the dark and cry.

    To teach kids about democracy, I let them vote on dinner. They picked tacos. Then I made pizza because they don’t live in a swing state.

    You’re not completely useless. You can always be used as a bad example.

  • 1
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    Show

  • Bo: Hey kids, I am so sad that you won’t exercise and give me Bo power, so I am just going to be an orphan.

    Kids changing the channel to Annie.

    Annie: Tomorrow, tomorrow, only a day away.

    TV changing the channel back to Bo On The Go.

    Dezzy: WAAAAAAAAAA, I can’t find Bo!

    Weight

  • How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?

    You pay the ice cream man to keep on driving. IDK.

  • 4
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    Language

  • I was cussing out this kid for stealing, and their mom walked in and said, "Hey, language!" I just said, "English, bitch!"

    Orphanage

  • Bully: How’s your girlfriend?

    Kid: I don’t have one. How are your parents?

    Bully: *cries*

    Kid: *Walks out of the orphanage*

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