Kids jokes
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Remember the big forehead kid who said, "Give me a knife, I'm going to kill myself" because of being bullied?
His head was too big to even exist, and that's why he's dead.
What does an abortion joke and a fetus have in common... The joke never gets old, and neither does the kid.
What is the difference between a normal kid and an emo kid?
"I like ya cut G" means two different things.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun? Glock 46.
He's a Fortnite kid, haha!
One day little Jonny is in class. It is the second day back to school. The teacher is annoyed with the kids, so she goes to the front of the class and says, "If you think you are stupid, stand up." Little Jonny stood up.
The teacher asked him, "Why do you think you're stupid?" Little Jonny said, "I don't think I am stupid."
Then the teacher asked little Jonny why he stood up. Then little Jonny replied, "I just felt bad seeing you standing here alone."
Poles are as straight as adopted kids' parents.
What does an emo kid and pizza have in common?...... The pizza doesn’t cut itself.
Why was the kid's report card all wet?
Because it was below "sea" level.
What's braver than coming out gay? Taking a shit in an elementary school bathroom with those two kids that always mess with you and turn off the lights.
The emo kid tried to give me a handshake. Sadly, I left him hanging.
Kidnapper: Hey kid, your mom told me to follow me.
Orphan: But I don't have a mom!
When a woman decides to abort, it is called a decision, but when I run my truck into a playground of kids, it is called murder.
A leaf and an emo kid fall from a tree, who made it to the floor first?
The leaf. The emo kid was caught on a rope.
What makes a depressed kid happy? ..... A bridge.
How do you find out if your kid is gay?
Lock him in a closet and if he comes out, he's gay. If not, he's dead straight.
Kid: I got homework.
Mom: Ok, so?
Kid: I got a F in my balls.
Kid: I need help!
Mom: Help your balls.
What touches kids and is made out of plastic?
Michael Jackson, hee hee!