Kid jokes
Why are orphans very abusive to their kids?
Because they never had loving parents of their own.
What do you say to a depressed special kid?
“Why so down?”
"Knock, knock.""Who's there?""Kid.""Kid who?""Kidnap you!"
So little Susie came home and said, "Mom, little Johnny showed me his pecker."
And her mom said, "WHAT?!"
And little Susie was like, "Yeah, it reminded me of a peanut." Her mom said, "Oh, because it was so small?"
Susie said, "No, because it tasted salty."
What do Michael Jackson and ACN have in common? They both go in little kids.
Q: What happens to KID who NAPs near a stranger?
A: He gets KID-NAPPED (kidnapped).
What is an emo kid's favorite song?
"Chain Hang Low" because he hangs low off a chain tied to a tree.
Kid: Wanna hear a joke?
Me: Sure.
Kid: Why diddncjcjcbfjcbcjdbbskzmzj b b j no?
Me:?
Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?
Kid: A garden?
Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?
What do you call an epileptic kid eating fruits?
A blender.
Kid: "Hey, are you an orphan?"
Friend: "Yeah, but you are too."
Kid: "At least my parents wanted me."
What do you call an epileptic kid on cocaine?
An earthquake.
Dad: Want to go to the park, kid?
Kid: Sure.
Dad: Come on.
Kid: Why are we at the orphanage?
Dad: Go in.
Mom says: "I will go kill myself."
Me: *stays quiet cuz knows better than to talk* *also me internally eyerolls*
Some time later me fighting with my mom:
Me to my mom: "Oh, yea than kill me!"
Mom: "What the hell did you just say? I don't want to hear it from you again!"
Lesson?
So it's OK for adults to say "I'll kill myself" but not teens/kids!?!?
When the quiet kid lost a game of basketball and reaches into his bag,
other people in the gym: "Oh shit this nigga bout to shoot."
What's the worst thing that can happen to schools?
Quiet kids.
You can understand depression if you are still in school and get bullied by bullies, punished by teachers, and scolded by parents for being that quiet kid who says nothing.
The parents who left their kids on the side of the road should have thought twice and got an abortion.
Some kid in a wheelchair called me fat.
I told her, "Do a wheelie!"
An orphan is like marriage. The kid is always the reason for divorce. The kid is always the reason for his parents leaving him.