Joke jokes
Wanna see a joke? Open the front-facing camera.
What do you call a Chinese car thief?
Tommy Tookamota.
Kid: Dad, where do you work?
Dad: I.C.U.P.
Kid: HAHAHAH!!!! See you pee.
John Wilkes Booth, to his fiancee: "I have an important role to play tonight at Ford's Theater."
Fiancee: "Break a leg!"
Why is death taken so lightly? It's terrible how people use it! (This is NOT a joke!)
Me, (AHAHAHA IM A JOKE AHAH Criii) Anyone wanna date? Lol.
What did the chicken say when he saw a human running around uncontrollably?
"It's running around like a chicken with its head cut off!"
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
What has one head, one foot, and four legs? A: A bed.
Q: Did you hear the joke about the roof? A: Never mind, it's over your head!
Q: How many letters are in the alphabet? A: 11. A-L-P-H-A-B-E-T.
Q. What kind of school does an ice cream man go to?
A. Sunday school!
Psst! Don't understand? Well, "Sunday" sounds like "Sundae." Get it now? Nope? Sorry. Plus, it's an ice cream homophone joke.
What do you give a dog with a fever?
Mustard, it's the best thing for a hot dog!
Where did your dad go? Because I saw him at the milk shop. Oh wait, there isn't one.
So Steven Hawking walks into a bar...
Just kidding!
I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"
"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Boo." "Boo who?" "Don't cry, it's just a joke."
I love bus jokes.
Time for a random Terraria joke.
Q: Why did the guide die at his house?
A: The player dropped his doll in the lava.
(WALL OF FLESH HAS AWOKEN) :| Oh crap!
What does a baby computer call its father? Data.
Hi, this is Chloe, and I am about to tell you about my joke.
Why did the cow cross the road? Because to get to the other side.
Why did the man laugh when he only had just one nickel and one penny in his pocket?
He had a 6 cents of humor.