Why did the chicken cross the road? Because it looked in the mirror.
Joke Jokes
Woman jokes aren't funny, period.
What did the guy with two hands say to the guy with one hand?
"Hi-five!"
What's the best part about dead baby jokes?
They never get old.
A woman delivers a baby. The doctor takes the baby and throws it, smashing it around the hospital room, drop-kicking it, etc. The mother starts freaking out, being held back by nurses, begging, “WHYYYY!!??”. The doctor holds the baby upside down by the ankle and says, “I’m just fucking with you, it was born dead”.
Why did the pedo stop to help the little kids cross the street?
To get them in his van.
Why don't cannibals eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Why can’t you fool an aborted baby?
Because it wasn’t born yesterday...
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
Did you hear about Hellen Keller falling down the well?
She screamed her little fingers off.
Why was the Chinese laundry joke not funny? It had no irony.
A man bought a brand new iPhone but returned it, why?
The apple was already bitten.
Why did John throw the butter out? Because John wanted to see the butterfly.
How do you get chewing gum out of your hair?
Cancer.
A guy on a bus saw a beautiful girl. He asked for her number, and of course, she said no. He asked the bus driver for advice, and he said, "That girl goes to the cemetery to pray every day at 10 p.m. and look for a statue of an angel." So he dresses up as God, goes to the grave, and she sees him. She says, "Oh, Lord, end my misery! Kill me now!" And he said, "Only if you do something for me first." She replied, "What is it, oh mighty Lord?" He said, "Have sex with me." She agreed. They had sex, and when she was done sucking his dick, he said, "I have something to tell you." He took off his costume and said, "I'm the guy from the bus." And she took off her costume: "I'm the bus driver."
(Does anyone remember this? It's an old joke someone made, or does no one remember this? I didn't make this, but it went smth like this)
What's an emo's favorite game? Fruit Ninja.
What's harder than titanium? Michael Jackson at the playground.
I saw a dwarf and said, "He costs 2 elixir!"
He called the cops.
What is a group of emo kids called?
A suicide squad.
What are the four letters you don’t want to hear from a dentist?
I C D K
I can make a word with those: "DICK".
