Joke jokes
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What do you call a funny drink?
Punch!
Why was the stadium so cold?
Because of all its fans!
Why was sis afraid of seven?
Cuz 7 ate 9.
What do you call a German that is blind? A not-see.
I saw a little boy begging for money.
I said, "Are you an orphan?"
He said, "Yes, what gave me away?"
I said, "Your parents!"
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Why did Susie fall off the swing?
Because she had no arms.
"Knock knock."
"Who's there?"
"Not Susie!"
I told her "I love you." She said, "I love me too."
What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?
"Ain't you got no cents?"
Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because they thought they saw their parents. (Plot twist: the orphan got ran over.)
Man: Knock, knock...
Boy: Who's there?
Man: Bear...
Boy: Bear who?
Man: Bear bottom.
Who are the fastest readers in the world?
9/11 victims, they went through 42 stories in 7 seconds.
What was the first animal in space?
The cow that jumped over the moon!
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
Dad: Why did Jimmy fall off his bicycle?
Son: Why?
Dad: Because somebody threw a washing machine at him.
Why can't blondes write comments on the jokes on this site?
Because they don't know what 2 X 4 is.
What do you get when you cross a rooster with a small dog?
A Cock-a-POODLE-Doo!
What animal has more lives than a cat?
A frog. It croaks every night.
What do you call a fish with no parents?
An orfin.