Joke jokes
What is a kidnapper's favorite shoe?
White vans.
What is more fun than spinning a clown around on a clothes line at 100 miles an hour?
Stopping it with a pitchfork.
Who are the fastest readers?
9/11 victims, they went through 91 stories in 11.2 seconds.
If you're bored, punch an orphan. What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?
My favorite dark joke is orphan jokes. For no apparent reason.
(If you see this joke with a blue "S" that's also me. I just have an acc now.)
What’s the favorite song of someone with an Oedipus Complex?
“My Mommy Comes Back”
I have a better version of this joke.
How to make a plumber cry: Simple, kill his family. That’ll definitely turn on the waterworks.
What do Indians call their father when they are born?
Data.
Why’d the chicken cross the road?
To get choked and stroked by Mr. Big Bloke!
“We’ll choke and stroke, it ain’t no joke!”
I made a joke about putting babies in the microwave and got told I was a disgusting person.
So from now on I’ll only make baby in the deep fryer jokes.
When I saw your hairline, I thought you worked at McDonald’s.
Mom: It's time for sleep.
Baby: Is that what you think, huh?
Mom: *gives baby pacifier*
Baby: Nice try, hobo.
Mom: Well, I'll come back later to see if he's gone asleep.
*few hours later*
Baby: *still awake*
Mom: Why IS HE NOT ASLEEP?!
Baby: Lol, I told you nice try haha.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
Your hairline is so far back it took a trip to America.
When I saw your face, it instantly made me throw up.
How many balls do you have on your body?
2. Your butt.
I saw a little boy sitting on a curb wearing rags.
I said: "Aww, are you an orphan?"
And he responded with "Yeah. What gave me away?"
And I said: "Your parents."
There is a room of men: Jamal, David, and Afzul. "Jamal is black," "David is white," and "Afzul is a Pakistani." Who set off the bomb?
Afzul, it's clearly him cause he's a Pakistani...
Me: I hit an orphan!
Mom: OMG WHY?
Me: Not like they can tell their parents-
What kind of overalls does Mario wear?
Denim-denim-denim!