Joke jokes
What do you call a hippo that has been thrown in a pan?
Hippo-POT-amus!
Why were there two boys on the bay?
Because they were gay!
Why does an orphan only have a Samsung? Because it doesn't have a home button!
Meat stands for: M - monitoring, E - evaluating, A - assessing/addressing, T - treatment.
So when you're shoving meat up people's asses, then you're monitoring them, evaluating them, assessing them, and treating them.
Q: What's the difference between an orphan and an apple?
A: One of them gets picked.
Why do orphans sleep in a double bed?
Because their parents aren't!
So an orphan goes to the store and gets a bunch of cartons of milk.
The cashier goes, "Woah, why so much?"
The orphan goes, "My dad never came back with the milk, so, well, here we are!"
What starts with "N" and ends with "G"?
Nothing.
I heard that your forehead is so big that you could build a neighborhood on it.
What do you call a guy at your doorstep with no arms and no legs?
Matt!
If you wanna get fat, what's the quickest way to do it?
Eat two jars of mayo each day, and in about a month, your scale will have your phone number!
You look like a sandwich Bigfoot didn't even like.
My grandfather said that I was too reliant on technology. I called him a hypocrite and cut him off life support.
What do you say to your customer at a popsicle stand when he asks for the price?
Dollar a pop!
Get it?
Why does the orphan not buy milk?
That's what their parents are doing.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
A cow with no front legs walking around?
Beef stroganoff.
What did the banana say to the vibrator?
"What are you shaking for? She’s going to eat me!"
Why is 6 afraid from 7? 789
Why was the duck fired from the train station?
He was a bad conducktor!
What did one mouse say to the other mouse when it tried to steal the cheese?
"That's nacho cheese!"