Joke

Joke jokes

Baby

Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?

They never get old.

Orphan

Why don't orphans go home at pickup?

Because they don't have parents to pick them up.

CPR

I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"

I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.

Morgue

Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?

Doctor: The morgue.

Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!

Doctor: And we're not there yet!

Mirror

Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?

Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.

Avalanche

What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.

Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.

Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.

How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.

Money

Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?

Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?

Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?

Uncle

I have an Uncle named Ricky, who made ur mom sticky.

His dad calls him pricky and everyone begs for his dicky.

Son

All of a guy's sons came out gay. He ordered 10 shots in a bar.

The bartender asks, "Do you have anyone in your family who likes women?"

The man said, "My wife does!"

Titanic

Luisa: The ship doesn't swerve, as it heard how big the iceberg is.

Captain of the Titanic: Wait, what did you say?

3 minutes later:

Why didn't I listen to the strong one?

Orphan

What's one advantage of being an orphan?

Nobody can make mama jokes about you. 🌚