Joke

Joke jokes

Police Officer

Please don't get mad, it's a joke.

What's the difference between a bullet and a police officer? At least when a bullet kills someone, it's fired.

Hooker

This ole boy picked up a hooker one time and she gave him the clap. In a few days, he saw her again, and he went up to her and said, "Hey, you gave me the clap!" She said, "NO I DID NOT! I sold it to ya!"

Ass

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Adoption

Teacher: What's 55 flowers plus 67 flowers?

Kid: A garden?

Teacher: Did I tell you that you're adopted?

Wheelchair

Someone threatened to break into my house, but I am in a wheelchair. I said sure, and I moved everything upstairs and sat on the stairs so he couldn’t steal anything.

Whey

What is the best whey to make friends with an American boy, you bunch?

9/11

You know how 7 8 9? Why was ten scared? 'Cos he was in the middle of 9/11.

Orphan

Friend: You're adopted.

Orphan: At least I was chosen!

Friend: At least I was kept.

Orphan

Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson?

Because it’s a family company.

Orphan

What's the difference between an orphan and baseball?

In baseball, you know where home is.

Orphan

Why do orphans like boomerangs?

Because they come back, unlike their dad.