Joke

Joke jokes

Baby

So.. err actually, don’t worry. I was gonna make a joke about dead babies, but I had to abort.

Orphan

What is the difference between an orphan and an apple?

Apples get picked.

Outlaw

What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?

Outlaws are wanted :)

Orphan

How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?

You tell them to clap until their parents come home.

Ass

When the husband said "Is your ass so big?" she said "Because I am holding my shit."

Orphan

You can hit an orphan, because who are they gonna tell? Their parents?

Earth

How does the earth rate its sex?

Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.

If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!

Zoo

I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.

They never got together at all.

Emo

Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?

So he could wake up inside.

Adoption

Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.

Kidnapping

Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.

In my basement.

Mother

My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.