Joke jokes
How does the earth rate its sex?
Earthquake, Cataclysm, Volcano explosion, Earth's core explodes.
If the earth's core explodes, then he got tore up!
I told my kids to smile with the monkeys in the open zoo.
They never got together at all.
Why did the emo swallow the alarm clock?
So he could wake up inside.
What Football Club does Mason Greenwood play for?
Prison FC
Do you know the phrase, "One man's trash is another man's treasure?" Wonderful saying, horrible way to find out that you were adopted.
What is the best la?
A koa-la!
Did you hear about the kidnapping at school? Don’t worry, he woke up.
In my basement.
What’s an orphan’s favorite snake, self raising flour?
My mother told me to be positive, but she said that when I was going to do an AIDS test.
Do you know why dead baby jokes are always funny?
They never get old.
Dark jokes are just like food.
Not everyone gets it.
Why don't orphans go home at pickup?
Because they don't have parents to pick them up.
Why is Delta jealous?
Because Omicron took the final kill.
I was drinking a martini when a waitress yelled, "Do you know CPR?"
I replied, "I know the entire alphabet!" We all laughed and laughed, well, except one person.
Roses are red, violets are blue, Ukraine will go puff.
Patient: Where are you taking me, doctor?
Doctor: The morgue.
Patient: Hang on! I'm not dead yet!
Doctor: And we're not there yet!
Patient: Doctor, every time I look in a mirror, I feel ill, as if I'm about to throw up. What's wrong with me?
Doctor: I don't know, but your eyesight is perfect.
Why can't orphans stand Darth Vader?
Because he's their father.
What's white and annoying at breakfast? An avalanche.
Why did little Suzy fall off the swing? She got hit by an axe.
Why did little Billy drop his ice cream? He got hit by a bus.
How do you make a plumber cry? Kill his family.
Boy: Hello, Mom, can I have $50?
Mom: Does it look like I am made of money?
Boy: That's what M.O.M. means, right?