Joke jokes
They say during sex you burn off as many calories as running 8 miles. Who the fuck runs 8 miles in 30 seconds?
What do cannibals call a person that is running?
Fast food.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground meat.
Your friend lost his left arm, and after getting out of the hospital, you ask him if he’s OK. He says, "Yeah, I’m all RIGHT."
How do you know someone is going to die?
He can't stop coughing. (coffin)
What do you call a blind photographer? A waste of money.
What do you call a dwarf skating on ice?
A midget spinner.
What is the difference between an adopted kid and an orphan?
If you're adopted, you're actually wanted.
What did the doctor say to the Chinese man?
"Some ting wong."
What does a cannibal ask for when leaving a restaurant?
"Can I have a bodybag?"
What’s an emo kid's favorite wood working tool? A chop saw!
I robbed a person in a wheelchair. He cried and said: "You can run, but you can't hide." I ran, and I never saw him again.
What do a stool and an emo have in common?
They both sit still.
Are you a building?
Cuz I rate you 9/11.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
The time is 9:11, time to put your phones on airplane mode.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
What did the cannibal do after he dumped his girlfriend?
He wiped his ass.
Hey daddy *winky face*