Joke jokes
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”
Chode.
A skeleton walks into the hospital and said: "Doctor, Doctor, I broke my leg!" The doctor said: "I see..."
Why can’t you tell a funny joke to a wheelchair kid? Because he just rolls with the joke.
What did the Ford Mustang say to the crowd of innocent people?
I'D HIT THAT!
Why do basketball players hate gravity?
Because it's always bringing them down.
What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A Yamahahahaha!
I painted my dad white so he wouldn’t leave.
What does "bitch" mean?
Son asked father, father said it means "you're handsome." Son said, "OK, you're a bitch." Father: "Of course not, I'm not a bitch!"
What kind of clothing should you wear on “hump day”? Camelflouge.
What did one tree say to another in a crisis? Don't leaf me when things get bad.
What day does Venus like?
SATURNday.
What did the bison say to his son leaving for school?
"Bye son!"
Get it? Bye son, Bison!
I used to have a skeleton of jokes, now my supply is bone dry. Guess I wasn’t that femurous.
I’m on top of things. Would you like to be one of them?