Joke jokes
I once read a book on antigravity, it was impossible to put down.
Why did the Drill Sergeant get in trouble?
He got caught playing with his Privates!
What do cows use for math? A cow-culator 😏
What do you call an orphan taking a selfie?
A family portrait.
I got suspended at school today. I lit a kid's wheelchair on fire and called him "Hot Wheels."
What did one butt cheek say to the other?
"Together we can stop this shit."
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
Why did the dumb blonde pee inside the condom?
Because the doctor told the dumb blonde that the dumb blonde was going to get a urine test!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not your parents.
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
He thought he saw his parents.
Oasis, am I right?
My girlfriend called me a pedophile. That's a big word for a six-year-old.
What’s a lung’s favorite type of exercise?
Breathing exercises.
I told this to my English teacher, and he said it to the class, and no one laughed. Someone help!
What do you call an orphan that takes a selfie?
A family portrait.
Yo mama is so strict that Thanos couldn't collect the Infinity Stones until he had done his homework.
Go to an orphanage and tell a kid his parents came back.
I asked an orphan where his mom was. He started crying, so I said it again.
And well, that was my last day at the orphanage.
Stephen Hawking walks into a bar, just kidding.
A redhead tells her blonde stepsister, "I slept with a Puerto Rican!"
Then the blonde replies, "OMG, you dirty little slut! How many is a Puerto Rican?"
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!