Joke jokes
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
Why didn't the skeleton go to the party?
Because he had "no-body" to go with.
I told one of my friends, "You're the reason why gene pools have lifeguards."
I’d make a joke about prostitutes and women sleeping with multiple men, but it would just be whore-ible.
What do you call a cab for black men?
A cop car.
Roses are red, violets are blue.
These jokes are old, come up with something new!
You need a good place to think? You can sit on my lap, and we’ll see the first thing that pops up!
Did you know every market in Africa is a black market?
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Guys, we should stop telling orphan jokes. Their parents will get mad. Oh...
You're so skinny, when you did your first jump on a pogo stick you would never come back.
What does Joe Biden say to young girls when he leaves the room?
"Smell ya later!"
I got a call from McDonald's; they want their sign back.
READ THIS OUT LOUD:
This is this cat.
This is is cat.
This is how cat.
This is to cat.
This is keep cat.
This is an cat.
This is idiot cat.
This is a busy cat.
This is for cat.
This is forty cat this is seconds cat.
NOW- go back and read the third word from each line from the start.
I don't need a punchline. Karens are the only joke I need.
You're so fat,
when you stepped on the scale,
Buzz Lightyear came out and said,
"To infinity and beyond!"
Me: Hey Siri, did you know Candice died?
Siri: Yes, I was informed she died from sugondese.
Me: What is that?
Siri: Sugondese nuts.
There should be a "kick an orphan" day.
What are they gonna do? Tell their parents?