Joke jokes
What is red, pink, and goes round and round?
A baby in a blender.
What is green, brown, and goes round and round?
The same baby 3 weeks later.
What did the cops say when someone called him racist?
"How can I be racist? My wife's eye is black."
Who is Bill Cosby’s favorite Disney princess?
Sleeping Beauty.
Why are carpenters never horny after work?
Because they’ve already spent all day getting hammered and nailing things.
I have a joke about suicide, but I’ll just let it hang.
How do you find a black person in the dark without a flashlight?
Tell them a joke to make them smile.
Sans: "Like, I'm so *flabbergasted*."
Gaster: "👌☼⚐ ✌☼☜ ✡⚐🕆 💧☜☼✋⚐🕆💧 ☼✋☝☟❄ ☠⚐🕈✍"
Joke: I went to a paraplegic strip club the other day, the place was crawling with pussy.
Why can't you make jokes about catholic priests?
Because they blow up in your face.
Boy goes to Confession.
Boy: "What are you doing, Father?"
Priest: "It's called masturbation, and soon you will be doing it."
Boy: "Why do you say that, Father?"
Priest: "'Cause my hand is getting tired!"
-not my joke
My mom told me a joke about boxing.
I guess I missed the punch line.
Why was it so hard for the pirate to call his mom? Because she left the phone off the hook!
Every time you feel lucky to have your mother in your life, what should you tell her?
I really hit the mother lode with you!
What did the mama moose say to the calf after it got on her nerves?
"I'm not a-moosed right now."
What's Momma bear's favorite baseball team? The Cubs.
I think I'm a red zebra!! Cuz I'm stripped red, iykwim.
American people: We will throw your teabags in the ocean!
British: At least our towers didn’t fall. 😎
Why did the cheese blush? Because it saw the salad dressing.
Why do the orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
What did one orphan say to another orphan?
"Get in the Batmobile, Robin!"