Joke jokes
Ur mom.
Oh wait, you don't have one.
Snake one: Are we venomous?
Snake two: Yep!... Why do you ask?
Snake one: Cuz I just bit my tongue!!! (Drama scene)
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
Yo mama!
Why did the 18-year-old girl need a ladder to go to school?
Because it was High School.
WARNING: READ THIS JOKE ALOUD!
Was it the pills that stopped his coughing, or was it the coffin they carried him off in?
Once, I tried to say, "P.P. That's funny right there." Instead, I said, you guessed it, "Penis!"
Why did the chicken cross the road?
Because the one behind it wasn't social distancing.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream?
Because she got hit by a bus.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Not Sally.
Are you a red light? Because I stop every time I see you.
You know, being a bitch is hard... but I found the person who's up for the challenge... you.
What do you say when you wake up to the police trying to arrest you?
“C'mon, did ya really think I’d resist arrest?”
What’s red and goes 100 miles per hour?
Babies in a blender.
What’s the difference between a dirty bus terminal and a lobster with implants?
One is a crusty bus station, and the other is a busty crustacean.
Why did Sally drop her ice cream? Because she has no arms.
A man once sued smart water for not making him smart. Then a woman replied, “Okay cool, now I’m going to go sue Thin Mints for not making me thin.”