Joke jokes
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because there was a dad on the other side.
I wish my hair was emo so it would cut itself.
How do you get a fat kid to lose weight?
You pay the ice cream man to keep driving.
Why are they called "breaking news" in the entire world?
Because they are breaking the whole entire news.
What do you call it when two Mexicans fight?
Juan on Juan.
How many orphans can you fit in a bag of chips?
One, if the bag is family size.
What makes a joke a dad joke? When it leaves and doesn't come back.
Forrest Gump: Who's your favorite Lord of the Rings character?
Lieutenant Dan: Legaless.
What is the difference between peanut butter and a dead baby? One sticks to the roof of your mouth, while the other one doesn't!
Your mother is so fast, she got arrested for carrying 10 pounds of crack.
What is it called when someone is a wheel chair and in a fire?
Answer: Hot wheels...
Why was the peanut butter upset at his retirement party?
He was roasted.
The boyfriend says to the explosive dude: "You're the bomb!" The explosive dude says: "Wow, that was Whitty."
My friend was in a wheelchair, so I rolled him in fire. Now I call him Hot Wheels.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mail man.
Mailman who?
Bitch, do you want your mail?
Why can you bully orphans?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents? Oh wait, they got no parents.
Go up to your friend and say: "It smells like updog."
They will likely reply: "What's updog?"
To which you reply: "Nothing much, what about you?"
Who wants me to bring back the daily School Shooter Jokes?
I hear you like funny people. In fact, my whole life's a joke!
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Mama.
Big Mama. Big Mama can't fit through the door.