What is the difference between an orphan and a candle?
One is used.
Joke Jokes
What does LMAO stand for?
Launching Moms At Orphans.
What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Holocaust victim?
Harry made it out of the chamber.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Play dead, they said.
Wasn't too hard.
I've been dead inside for years.
What dinosaur loves music?
The velociRAPtor!
How did they know Princess Diana had dandruff?
Because they found her Head and Shoulders in the glove compartment!
I once did an exam on rainbows. I passed with flying colors.
What do you call a skeleton's omelet?
A bonelet.
My teacher started talking about houses, then I said I don't want that informansion.
A horse walks into a bar.
The barman says...
"Why the long face?"
Why did the chicken cross the road? Cuz he felt like it mind your f***ing business like damn.
Why was the sheep arrested?
Because he did a "ewe" turn on a motorway.
My friend David lost his ID.
Now he is just Dav.
What did the dirt say to the embers?
You look smoking hot.
Why do we tell actors to break a leg? Because every play has a cast!
