Joke jokes
Boy: Will you remember me in a minute?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a day?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Will you remember me in a year?
Mom: Yes.
Boy: Knock knock.
Mom: Who's there?
Boy: Bitch, you forgot me.
A feather and a depressed boy fell at the same time, which one hits the ground first?
The feather, because the rope stopped the child.
SAVE ORPHAN JOKES! SAVE THEM!
I come in from work to see my wife dead on the sofa. As I unzip for one last ride, she says, "BOO!" What kind of a dick fuck does that!
What’s the difference between a cat and a frog?
A cat has nine lives, and a frog croaks every day.
What did the snail say to his ex-wife?
"I'm still leaving you!"
My parents telling me: "What doesn't kill you makes you stronger."
Me upset about my suicide attempt doesn't succeed.
Why can’t orphans play GTA and get five stars? Because they’re not wanted!
Why can't orphans work at SC Johnson?...
Because it's a FAMILY company.
Why did the cow have for breakfast?
Answer: Muesli.
What is the difference between a flower and an orphan?
A flower gets picked.
If an apple and an emo kid fell out of a tree, which would hit the ground first?
The apple, because the rope caught the emo kid.
My dad said people shouldn’t get ribbons just for participating because it rewards them for losing.
So I took down his confederate flag.
What do you call someone who wants to jump off a building?
Cause they want to become Super Man.
What do you get when you cross a lawn mower and a parakeet?
Shredded tweet!
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
Why do orphans eat cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk.
Why did the baker give the shopper a butt? Because she asked for a butt!
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
What's the worst thing you can say to a widow?
"I'm sorry, I just had to."