Joke jokes
Yo mama is like train tracks; she gets laid all around the country.
Actor 1: "I'm Michael with a b and I hate insects."
Actor 2: "Where's the b?"
Actor 1: "THERE'S A BEE???????????!!!!!!!!!!!????????!!!!!"
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Are you made of Gallium and Yttrium?
Because you are looking a little bit GaY.
What’s the worst thing about being suicidal?
The school shooter will always spare you.
I'll rate this a 9/11.
Why did the egg hide? It was a little chicken!
What do you get when you dip a duck in blue paint?
A very pissed duck.
What was Hitler's favorite thing to do to pass the time?
Smoking.
Did you hear about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
What do you call yourself when you fist a midget?
A ventriloquist.
What has two wings and an arrow?
The Chinese telephone, wing wing, arrow.
What starts with "N" and ends with "G?"
Nothing.
You are so scary that even your hairline ran away.
What do you call a disabled orphan?
A left over vegetables.
I asked a person in a wheelchair if they wanted to fight. All I had to do is say, "Stand up!"
Vegan is actually an old Indian word for "bad hunter."
What's the difference between a newborn baby and an orphan after a rugby match?
They both come out bloody and crying, but at least one gets picked up.
Guy 1: Hey, can you stop making 9/11 jokes? My dad died during it.
Guy 2: Sorry, I will stop. What was your dad?
Guy 1: The pilot. He saw a KFC and wanted it, so, well, you know.
Q: Why was 10 afraid?
A: Because he was always between 9/11.