Joke jokes
Two scientists walk into a bar. The first one says, "Can I have a drink of H2O?" Then the second says, "Can I have a drink of H2O2?" and he dies.
The lunch lady gave me only one carrot. I didn't carrot all.
Confucius say, man who go through turn table is going to Bangkok.
A weasel walks into a bar. The bartender says, "Wow, I've never served a weasel before, what can I get you?" "Pop," goes the weasel.
I like my women how I like my golf score: low in the 80s and with a handicap.
A neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink. When the neutron gets his drink, he asks, "Bartender, how much do I owe you?"
The bartender replies, "For you, neutron, no charge."
A man walks into the taxidermist with two monkeys. The taxidermist asked if he wanted them mounted. The man said, "No. Shaking hands will be fine."
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
Why did the pillow go to court?
Because it had a pillowcase!
Kid: Licks money.
Mom: Hey, don’t lick the money. It is dirty.
Kid: Is that why they call people filthy rich?
What does the bee say to the fly?
"Buzz off!"
I drew a fist on a body, and then I drew a guy saying to him, "That dude's a knucklehead!"
Why can’t orphans play baseball? Because they can’t find the first base they came from.
What do you call cheese that isn't yours? Nacho cheese. Okay, I can't do this anymore.
When you say to your friend, "I've got your back," then at his funeral you see in his coffin he's missing his middle piece.
What’s a Cannibal’s Favorite Food?
Ra-men.
Teacher: What month is it?
Quiet kid: AUG-ust.
Classroom: Visible concern.
Knock knock.
Who's there?
Atch.
Atch who?
Sorry you are sneezing. Have you got a cold?
A handicapped person was making fun of me, so I walked away.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.