Joke jokes
The Bible said, "Adam and Eve..." So I did both.
Who makes the best anteaters?
Uncle's... (Aunt eaters)
What do you call an orphan taking a picture?
A self-portrait.
A seizure is just an excuse for break dancing.
The popular girl told me, "I bet your birth certificate is an apology letter from the condom factory!"
Two weeks later, she shows up pregnant.
...
I guess her rubber broke too.
Why can’t orphans work at SC Johnson’s?
Because it’s a family company.
What happens to chickens that get kidnapped by rapists?
They get choked.
Teacher: Why do people snore?
Me: Because they sleep.
What’s the difference between a barcode and Rachel Sutherland’s wrist?
Nothing, they both get scanned for a fresh new pack of razor blades.
Me scrolling through jokes that sum up my life, starts crying.
My friend: What’s wrong?
Me: Nothing, it's just so funny. Lol😂🤣😂
Why did the skunk cross the road?
To get to the odor side!
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours.
Set a man on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Why did Rolf Harris meet underage kids?
To tie his kangaroo down, sport!
What did the mouse 🐭 say when his friend broke their teeth?
Hard cheese! 🧀😂
What did the tree wear to the pool party 🥳?
Swimming trunks.
What do you say to a 1 legged hitch hiker?
Hop in!
How many psychologists does it take to change a light bulb?
It only takes one, but it takes a long time, and the light bulb has to want to change.
Why did the T-Rex cross the road?
The chicken wasn’t invented then.
I heard a joke about chocolate.
It wasn’t that funny.
I just Snicker-ed.
Why did Stephen Hawking die?
He drove too far away from the power point/modem.