Joke jokes

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian.

ok this isn't a joke but it's funny.

Roses are red, nuts are brown, Skirts go up, pants go down. Body to body, skin to skin, when it's stiff, stick it in. It goes in dry, comes out wet, the longer it's in, the stronger it gets. It comes out dripping and starts to sag, It's not what you think, it's a lipton tea bag.

Get your mind out of the gutter.

What's the difference between a Catholic hospital and Michael Jackson's Children's Hospital?

No seriously, what is it?

Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.

Why did the coffee file a police report? -- Because it was mugged.

What's the difference between that bridge and my will to live? None, they're both too short.

Why can't the orphan play the game of life? They don't know what a family road trip is. 😆

What's Osama Bin Laden's favorite drink?

A Double Manhattan.

What do you get from a dwarf cow?

Condensed milk.

What made me laugh?

The fact that my life is a joke."

A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.

What do you call a train with bubble gum?

A chew chew train.

Oh man, I'm depressed.

What do you call depressed Sesame Street?

Emo's World.

Why aren’t orphan jokes funny?

The punchline isn’t apparent.

What do you call a lesbian dinosaur?

Lickalottapuss.

Chuck Norris once put a plastic bag on his head, and the bag suffocated to death.

What did the rapist say to his victim?

"Go ahead, call the police. We will see who comes first."

What do you get when you cross a joke with a rhetorical question?

I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.

My friend told me he had a sister. I asked if she was hot, and he said she was 8. That wasn't my question.