Joke jokes

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."

The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.

It didn't land too well.

What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?

It left him hanging.

It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."

Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?

A: My dad didn't beat cancer...

So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.

I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.

These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian.