Joke jokes

What did Stephen Hawking say when his computer crashed?

Nothing.

What does a cannibal call a wheelchair user? -- Meals on wheels.

What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?

Special forces.

What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.

Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.

A woman noticed her husband standing on a bathroom scale, sucking in his stomach. "Ha! That's not going to help!" she said. "Sure it does," he said. "It's the only way I can see the numbers."

The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.

I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.

No pun in ten did.

What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?

A guy will actually search for a golf ball.

What did Hitler say when he was blindfolded?

I can Nazi!

I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.

It didn't land too well.

What happened when the emo kid tried to high 5 a tree?

It left him hanging.

Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."

Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?

A: My dad didn't beat cancer...

So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.

It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."

What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.

These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.

Have you ever walked into Stephen Hawking's house? No, he hasn't either.

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian.