Chuck Norris counted to infinity TWICE
What do you call a single bisexual? All bi myself.
What do you say to your sister when she's crying? -- "Are you having a crisis?"
Imagine if hitting the iceberg wasn't an accident and it was all just the sailors fault like this: Sailor 1: Hey Ron. Sailor 2: yeah? Sailor 1: you see that iceberg over there? Sailor 2: yeah. Sailor 1: you know what would be pretty funny
I would name my dog five miles so I could say I walk five miles every day but today I ran over five miles
You find some dust on the ground. Your friends dare you to snort it... Then you realize your in a crematorium.
what had more brains than Hitler? The wall behind him
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
Today was a bad day, their was a man throwing butter and cheese at me, how dairy
Wanna hear a terrible Joke?
Paper
Pretty tear-able, huh?
Why did little sally fall of the swings? Because she had no arms What did sally get for Christmas? Gloves! Only joking...she still hasn’t opened the box
So a kid walks in the house and says: " mommy, mommy, I found daddy". And the mother says: " stop digging around in the garden, and let you Father rest in peace.
what do you call 6 gay men going to war ? rainbow 6 siege
What did Steven Hawlkings last words? Error 404 File Not Found
What do you call a Mexican who lost his car?
- Carlos.
Why did the chicken go to KFC... to visit his family
I was wondering why the ball was getting bigger. Then it hit me.
What's black, has four wheels, and sits at the top of the stairs?
Steven Hawking after a house fire.
Me: spreading positivity Everyone else at the HIV testing center
