Joke jokes
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
A wife and husband were setting up their computer, and the husband made the password "my dick." But the wife fell on the floor laughing because the computer said the password was too short.
The F in orphan stands for family... oh wait.
What do you call an autistic kid with a gun?
Special forces.
I tried dressing up as the plane that crashed into the Twin Towers for the office costume party.
It didn't land too well.
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect 4 in only three moves.
I saw a fat girl with a 'Guess' t-shirt, so I said, "286lb."
Two blondes fall down a well. One says to the other one, "Isn't it dark down here?" She replies, "I don't know. I can't see."
I entered ten puns into a contest to see which one would win.
No pun in ten did.
Who do you think is the fastest reader? Incorrect. It's 9/11. It went through 100 stories in 2 seconds.
What’s the difference between a G-spot and a golf ball?
A guy will actually search for a golf ball.
What’s the hardest thing about being a rapist? Fitting in.
Q: What's the difference between me and cancer?
A: My dad didn't beat cancer...
It's April Fools' Day. I'm gonna go to the orphanage and tell kids, "Their parents are here to pick them up."
I wasn’t staring, I was just trying to figure out if that was your hairline or the Great Wall of China.
So, we all know that old kids' joke: why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 8 9. Well, why was 10 scared? Because he was in the middle of 9 11.
Your hairline is so bad, the cops had to do a breathalyzer test on your barber.
If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?
European.
What are you on your way to the bathroom?
Russian.
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
A kid annoyed me the other day. I told him to shut up and go back to his parents. That's the last time I'm going to an orphanage.