Joke jokes
Have you eaten at the restaurant on the Moon? It's got good food, but no atmosphere.
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Crippling depression.
Crippling depression who--?
Me.
My girlfriend broke up with me. She said I was a pedophile. I told her, “PEDOPHILE? Wow, that sure is a big word for an eight-year-old!”
Who wants to hear the biggest joke ever?
My life.
What's the last thing that went through Curt Cobain's mind?
His teeth.
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
The baby cries when I cut it, but an onion makes me cry when I cut it.
Did you hear the one about the hills?
It was hillarious.
What did the bitch say to her sister when she stepped on her toe? Oww, mitosis!
When it is quiet when you're having sex and you ask your partner to "Do the roar!"
A midget walks into a bar and asks for a beer. The bartender says no.
The midget asks why. The bartender says, "You're a little drunk!"
I can’t stand disabled jokes...
Neither can they 😂
Why isn't a koala a bear? It doesn't have the koalafications.
A Down syndrome kid asks for an ice cream. The man asks, "Do you want sauce on it?"
The kid says, "It doesn’t matter, I’m going to drop it anyway!" 😂😂😂
What do you call a woman with three boobs? Tres leches.
A brunette, a red-head, and a blonde are being chased by bandits. They are chased to the edge of a cliff and a genie appears.
"I will help you escape," says the genie, "say what you wish to turn into, and you will become that thing."
The brunette jumps off the cliff and says "Hawk." She turns into a hawk and flies away. The red-head says "Falcon." She turns into a falcon and flies away. Now the blonde is alone and the bandits are getting closer. She makes her decision and backs up, then runs toward the cliff. And...she trips and says "Crap."
The End
Man, I’m so sorry that Stephen Hawking is dead; he was such a good person.
Too bad it’s a staircase to Heaven and not a ramp.
Why does everyone like couch jokes?
Because they are sofa-nny (so funny)!
What do you call a lesbian? Me.
What do you call a fat fortune teller? A four-chin teller.
Your hairline looks like the McDonald's logo!