Joke jokes
What were Stephen Hawking's last words? "System failure."
What do you call a cow that has stuff growing on it?
Mosscow
What's the smartest crime?
3rd degree murder.
How many degrees does it take to change ice into boiling water?
199, because the difference between -100 and +100 is 199 (excluding the zero, because it's not real and it doesn't exist because it's not real).
Get?
Why was Boiling Water hired by NASA (The National Aeronautics and Space Administration) to oversee their Space division?
Because it has at least one hundred degrees.
What is an alien's favourite chocolate?
A Mars bar.
Do you want to hear three jokes?
Joke Joke Joke.
A man in conversation with his friend says that his wife is on a 3-week diet. The friend curiously asks, how much has she lost? The man replies, "her life."
The Chinese food owner always brings us free food. I ask my sister why he does that. My sister said, "Love him long time."
I ask my sister why the Chinese owner brings us free food all the time.
My sister said to me "I love him long time."
How do ducks fart?
Out their butt, quack.
I'm doing something Stephen Hawking can't do... pressing "I'm not a robot."
Did you know that a lot of graves are put in churchyards?
Yeah, they're pretty holey.
What do you get from a dwarf cow?
Condensed milk.
What did the Orphan say when he Googled Orphan jokes?
I would say these jokes hit home, but there is no home to hit.
Why was the cow afraid?
Because he's a coward!
How do you count cows with a cowculator?
Q: Do you know why people don't like abortion jokes?
A: Because they leave people with a feeling of emptiness inside.
My sister keeps cursing... so I made fun of her... "fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk fuk", fowl language is for chickens!
What happens when two pieces of bread from the same loaf have sex?
They become in-bread.