What did the shoe say to the other shoe?
Nothing, it was tied up in another conversation.
Joke Jokes
What did the rainbow say to the other rainbow?
Nothing, it was feeling blue.
My step bro thought I was single and tried to take me, but I said, "I'm take." And guess what he did? He cried.
Why? Why would you do that?
Me: That’s a good WAVE.
Friend: I SEA it.
Wave: Doesn't break for us to surf on.
Me: I was SHORE it would be good.
Friend: I SEA what you did there.
How many homeless guys does it take to change a lightbulb?
“You’re telling me there’s change in a lightbulb?”
Welcome to codi's pizzeria and abortion clinic; your loss is our sauce!
Want to hear a joke? Look at the Miami Dolphins football record.
MOM: Honey, I'm pregnant.
DAD: Hi, Pregnant, I'm Dad.
MOM: No, you're not.
What’s pink, rusty, and covered in cobwebs?
Madeline McCann's bike.
How many communists does it take to change a lightbulb? Never enough.
I wanna tell you a scary math joke, but I'm too squared to tell you.
There is no joke.
What do you call a creepy IT teacher?
A PDF file.
What do you call a cup with a handle?
A mug! HAHA ha... My parents just got a divorce :(
At school, Bobby's classmate tells him some depressing stuff. Later that day, Bobby comes home crying and his mom greets him at the door with "Why are you crying?" Bobby says, "Someone said my grandpa died, but when did he die?" His mom looks him straight in the eye and says, "Depends, which one are you referring to?"
I am disabled and I find these jokes appropriately hilarious.
What's the difference between Michael Jackson and a carrier bag? One is plastic and dangerous for kids to play with, and the other is a carrier bag.
A teacher is doing an experiment about taste. She tells each student to line up so she can give them each a lifesaver, so they can tell her what flavor it is. She gives Suzy a pineapple one. Suzy tries it, says the flavor, and then goes and sits back down. That is the same for everyone, then it is Jhonny's turn. The teacher hands him a honey flavor one. Jhonny chews it for a while, then says,
"Teacher, I don't know what it is.". The teacher tries to give him a hint and says, "it's what your parents call each other when you are asleep". Immediately the boy behind Jhonny screams, "Spit it out Jhonny, it's an asshole!!!"
How do skeletons make love?
They bone each other!
Why did the Chicken cross the road?
It didn’t, it ran because it was running from KFC.
