Joke jokes
I will always remember my dad's last words....
"15 dollars and I'll jump."
Why couldn’t most people remember 9/11?
Because it flew over their heads.
What do you call a 60 year old with a bomb?
Suicide Boomer.
Yo man, stand up.
*short person stands*
No, seriously man, stand up!
Why did Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you could read her lips.
What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.
What do you do when you see a sad orphan?
Nothing, let them wait for their parents.
What is a cow's favorite move? -- The sound of moooosic.
So my teacher's daughter committed suicide.
One day I'ma go up to her and say, "What's wrong, did Logan Paul leave your daughter hanging?"
If you don't stop with the puns, soon it won't be so fun.
Real quick, I'm autistic, and if anyone asks, I absolutely love some of these jokes. XD I found this while doing some research for a paper.
"And then I said, \"Knife to meet you.\""
"You stabbed my brother!"
"It's okay, I'm in stable condition!"
The other day, my best friend flipped off the table in class. I thought it was flipping amazing!
When does a joke become a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
How do you get a baby to stop crawling in circles?
You nail its other hand to the floor.
A blonde, redhead, and brunette are all sitting in a hospital's waiting room for ultrasounds.
After a while, the brunette giggles while rubbing her belly. Both the blonde and redhead look over at her and ask, "What's with the giggling?"
The brunette replies, "I'm having a boy!"
The blonde and the redhead ask, "How do you know?"
"Because he was on top!" The brunette replies again.
The three go back to conversing, and then the redhead starts to giggle while rubbing her belly.
"What's with the giggling?" The blonde and brunette ask.
"I'm having a girl!" The redhead replies.
"Well, how do you know?" The blonde and brunette ask again.
"I was on top!"
All of a sudden, the blonde bursts into tears.
"Oh, honey! What's wrong?" The redhead and brunette ask.
"I'm having puppies!"
One night my brother asked me, "Am I a pro gamer?" I said, "No, you're not a Pro-grammer."
What's black and red/read all over? A baby skunk with a bad case of diaper rash!
Why did the kid bring a ladder to school?
So he could get into high school.
Why did Sally fall off the swing? Cause she had no arms.
Knock knock? Who's there? Not Sally.