Joke jokes
What do you call a hippopotamus that stands out from the crowd?
A hipster!
You wanna hear a joke?
You.
What did the dentist say to the butt?
"That's the largest cavity I've ever seen!"
Dog walks into a bar and says, "I'm lookin' for the man who shot my paw."
Why did the octopus cross the road?
'Cause he was on the same side as a sushi restaurant.
Just to get things straight, I'm NOT, I repeat, NOT racist, but this joke goes out to all the people who talk about other people with darker skin than the other person.
Bully: Your skin is so black and ugly (for the 5th time).
Me: I'm so happy you love my skin color!
Bully: Ew, no I don't!
Me: Then why do you keep talking about it?
What is a bald eagle's favorite dog breed?
A beagle!
What is a bald eagle's favorite chip?
Preagles!
What do you call a person with a hole in their shoe?
A Christian.
What did the balls say to the dick?
Hey dick, how's it hanging?
Why did the monster 🧟♀️ put the cook in a bowl?
He wanted a chef salad. 🥗😂
What's got 4 legs and is stronger than Superman?
Christopher Reeve's horse.
What did the minute hand say to the hour hand?
Why are you so tall?
I will tell you a joke--your life.
Why did the cow go to space? To go to the moon.
This joke is so dark, I need life.
I would slap you, but that would be animal abuse.
How do you make an orphan's hands bleed?
You tell them to clap until their parents come home.
What’s the difference between 1000 used tires and 1000 used condoms?
One's a good year and one's a great year.
What’s the worst part about eating vegetables? Putting them back in the wheelchair.