Who needs April Fools?
When your whole life is a joke?
Joke Jokes
Why did the toilet paper cross the road?
To get to the bottom.
Wanna hear a joke about Donald Trump?
Ok, Melania totally married him for his good looks, believe me!
What did Trump rename the Presidential plane?
Answer: Hair Force One!
What do you call a broccoli 🥦 when it’s a ghost?
Cauliflower!
When is it acceptable to hit a dwarf?
When he dances with your wife and says her hair smells nice...
What do you call a one-legged hippo?
A hoppo!
An old man saw the TikTok trend of people throwing it back. The old man wanted to do it with his wife. The man set up everything needed and did the video. He threw it back first, then his wife, but instead of an old lady, it was ashes.
Q: Why did the first Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was dead.
Q: Why did the second Koala fall out of the tree? A: Because it was dead too.
Q: Why did the third Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was hit by the other two Koalas on the way down.
Q: Why did the fourth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it thought it was a game and joined in.
Q: Why did the fifth Koala fall off the tree? A: Because it was curious to see where the others were going.
Q: Why did the sixth Koala fall off the tree? A: It was tied to the fifth koala.
Q: Why did the seventh Koala fall off the tree? A: Peer group pressure.
Why did Sally fall off the swing?
She had no arms. "Knock knock." Who's there? Not Sally.
How many kids does it take to change a lightbulb?
Apparently not 27. Because my basement's still dark...
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop onions.
I was about to make a baby joke but then decided to abort.
So one time I was looking up the definition of "accident" because I was a little dumbo and didn’t know what it meant. Then my sister walks up behind me and points at the word and says, “That’s you!” (meaning that I was an accident).
A few minutes later, we had a big family meeting and my dad said to my sister, “Sweetie, you were an accident. We didn’t mean to make you, but we still love you with everything we’ve got.”
My sister never talked to me again and left the house. She was 17 when she left. Seriously, 17-year-olds just never mature, huh?
Anyone got any good Floyd jokes? I really need them to take my breath away.
Everyone has cracks in them, mine's just in my heart and not my ass.
What do children and lights have in common? They both hang from ceilings!
Not funny, here’s another.
Why can’t China play baseball? They ate the bat.
You can laugh at how men are stupid. But remember their favorite thing.
It starts with "M" and ends with "arriage".
If you guessed "Marriage" you're stupid. It's miscarriage and don't forget it. The joke never gets old to him. Just like the baby.
I was listening to my children praying, and my youngest that can speak said to me: "Mama, why is Gramma dead?"
I smiled and told her, "Well, less than 10 years ago when I was 5, your age, my Momma took me into the basement with some hot rando during a party. And 9 months later Shinana was born. One Pedo after another and your 4 siblings were born. The Pedo I met last night told me, 'If your mother's the one making you do this, do what you do best.' I listened and the next day she didn't leave her bed breathing. When the Pedo found out he left me and your soon to be brother."
She replies with, "Make his child support expensive!" Now he has to pay me 2,000 U.S. dollars every month, like the other ones that ran away.
Dark humor is like a home; not everyone gets it.
