Joke jokes

What do sperm say while just in?

"We need to go deeper."

Me: Hey! Do you know how to tie a knot?

Person: Yea, why?

Me: Cause I need help tying this noose :)

What does a bullied kid say during a game of Kahoot?

"I'd like to Kahoot up this school."

What do you call a drunk, depressed man that skydives?

Splattered.

Dark humor is like water.

Not everybody gets it.

Want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it’s too terrible.

If you're American outside the restroom, what are you in the restroom?

European.

What are you on your way to the bathroom?

Russian.

Two lepers playing cards... one threw his hand in; the other laughed his head off.

Who are the fastest readers in the world?

The people in the Twin Towers, because they went through over 100 stories in less than 10 minutes.

"White people can't jump"...

"You must not have seen the twin towers on 9/11."

Before Marriage Boy: At last, I can hardly wait! Girl: Do you want me to leave? Boy: No, don't even think about it! Girl: Do you love me? Boy: Of course, always! Girl: Have you ever cheated on me? Boy: No, why are you asking? Girl: Will you kiss me? Boy: Every chance I get! Girl: Will you slap me? Boy: Hell nah, you crazy!! Girl: Can I trust you? Boy: Yeah girl! Girl: Oh Honeyyy😍

After Marriage Now, read that from the bottom to the top.

What’s the hardest part of a vegetable? The wheelchair.

Dad: I'm dying.

Son: Hi dying, I'm [name].

Dad: Really, now is not the time.

Son: I'm sorry.

Dad: Hi sorry, I'm Dad. (dies)

What did the piggy bank say to his piggy friend?

"Ain't you got no cents?"

Piggy: "Actually, no. Just pork."

What’s the difference between your mum and your nan?

Your nan's a GILF!

What does a bullet and milk have in common? They both take out your dad.

I would post a joke, but maybe it's too deadpan.

Where's the best place to spawn camp at the hospital?

The maternity ward.

Fail and fall mean the same thing when it’s downstairs.

Why do orphans work boomerangs?

Because it's the only thing that comes back.