Joke

Joke jokes

I was talking to a Muslim yesterday, and he asked me what it's like to be blind.

I happened to tell him about 20 jokes; in fact, I was working on my twentieth. So I answered with, "At least I don't have to screw in light bulbs. It's not like I need the damn things anyway."

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A girl and her brother are walking in their garden. POV: Brother. Sister: "Why are you cutting those flowers?"

Brother: "Because they're beautiful!"

Sister: "I thought you said you cut yourself because you aren't."

Brother:......

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  • Two gay men walk into a bar. One of them turned to the other and said, "Hey, what do you say we get out of here?"

    What's the difference between a Hippo and a Zippo?

    One is gigantic, the other is just a little lighter.

    Did you hear about the actor who fell through the floorboard?

    Don't worry, he was just going through a stage.

    Someone telling a joke:

    Boy: "My parents are dead."

    Girl: "My grandad is too."

    Orphan who listened to it: "That joke is dead!"

    Person who told the joke: "So is your family!"

    Ever heard of the show "Naked and Afraid"? That's what I call hide-and-seek with my uncle.

    A guy walks into a bar and tells the bartender, "Give me 2 beers." The bartender gives him two beers and coughs in the guy's beer bottles before giving it to him. The guy says to the bartender, "Hey, what are you doing? I didn't order Bud Lights, I want Corona beer." The bartender replies, "Sir, I gave you a mix of Bud Light and Corona, and it's on the house, everyone is drinking Corona tonight."

    What do you call a girl with only one leg? Eileen.

    What about an Asian girl with only one leg? Irene.

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  • What's the difference between Princess Diana and Thomas the Tank Engine?

    Thomas came out the other end of the tunnel.

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  • How does a paedophile know if he's good at sex?

    It'll forever be a mystery because the victims [are] too young to scream his name.

    One time, I broke up with my Roblox girlfriend by sending her a message. Thirty seconds later, I heard my uncle crying in the next room.