Joke jokes
What do you call people who jump into the Hoover Dam?
Dam fools.
A man driving along a country road sees a little girl crying next to a cliff. He gets out and says, "Aw, what's the matter little girl?"
She points off the cliff, and at the bottom is the family car, burning with everyone inside, all mangled and dead.
The man unbuckles his pants and says, "Little girl, today just ain't your day."
What do you call a group of depressed kids?
A suicide squad.
What is an astronaut's favorite button? A space bar.
Spongebob: Easy now, you try first. Get a jar.
Patrick: *picks up nuke*
Spongebob: Patrick, that's a nuke!
Patrick: Yes.
Nuke: *boom*
"What did the blind, dumb, paraplegic, dead, eight-year-old child get for their birthday?"
"Cancer."
A bear walked into the bar and said, "Can I have a cola and a...whisky?" The bartender says, "What's with the big paws?"
Q: Why does an orphan do badly at Baseball?
A: Because they can't find home.
What is the difference between an apple and an orphan? An apple gets picked.
My friend has a dry sense of humor.
Probably because her body was decomposed ages ago.
What is a paedophile's favorite thing about Halloween?
Free delivery XD
"Hey, you! Why are you so serious?"
Keep the planet clean. It's not Uranus.
What's gassy and as cold as ice? Uranus.
Granny says don't worry, the cries of pain are only my ex-husband's.
What do you call one baby in ten trashcans?
Chopped Junior!
SCP-173 has breached containment. This is not a joke. Multiple Keter class SCPs have breached containment. This is an XK class event. Evacuate the Earth and solar system. The world is ending!
These ain't jokes. These are just sad truths.
When I was young, I decided to go to a medical school.
At the entrance exam, we were asked to re-arrange letters
'PNEIS'
and form the name of an important human body part which is most useful when erect.
Those who answered 'SPINE' are doctors.
What's 12 inches long, red, and when I force feed it to my wife, she cries?
Her miscarriage.