Joke jokes
What's the difference Michael Jackson and a play station have in common...
They're both plastic and kids turn them on.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
Why do cows have bells?
Because their horns don’t work. 😂😂
What did the left eye say to the right eye?
Between you and me, something smells.
Yesterday I saw a guy spill all his Scrabble letters on the road.
So I asked him, “What’s the word on the street?”
I met this girl at a bar and started doing her from behind. Everything was great until she turned and said, "My turn!"
What did one sea say to the other sea? Nothing, it just waved.
Why was the sea sad? Because it was blue.
Why can't you eat cereal?
Because your dad never came back from getting the milk!
I got kicked out of the hospital because I told all the COVID-19 patients to stay positive.
What did one cheek say to the other cheek?
"It is a squash in here!"
Why did the chicken cross the road to get away from this conversation?
The patient said, "When will this be over?"
The doctor said, "After you die."
The patient says, "Was that a morbid joke?"
The doctor says, "Well, um, actually, you'll die because we broke the needles and the cure."
The patient says, "Well, it's a bright day, maybe if you weren't clumsy!"
What’s the difference between dark humor and morbid humor?
Dark humor is ten kids in one container; morbid humor is one kid in ten containers.
What is the difference between a normal joke and a dad joke?
When it leaves and never comes back.
There is an upside to being an orphan.
Every bag of chips is family size.
What do you say to a depressed person?
"I like ya cut, G."
What did a cannibal have as his last meal?
Five guys.
Knock knock.
Who's there? It's the Grim Reaper.
Grim Reaper who?
The Grim Reaper who is about to come in your house, smoke some weed, drink some Grim Reaper liquor, and then get drunk.
The other day all those toilet papers came by my house and asked do I have any crack candy. Naw, I don't have no damn crack candy or no crack apples. All I have here in the backyard is a peanut butter crack sandwich. Help yourself, and while you're at it, clean up all the damn doggie dodo that's everywhere. Thank you, Mr. Toilet Papers.