Joke jokes

What do you tell your butt cheek when you need to use the bathroom? "Hold it in, so you won't get constipated and die."

A bear and a rabbit are at a bar getting high, smoking weed, talking about nothing but lies and straight up garbage.

And then the bear starts to drink too much damn liquor, gets drunk, and asks the rabbit, "Can I have one more scotch, pretty please?"

And the rabbit says, "Hell to the naw, I'm not about to carry your drunk ass home with me and smell your breath."

What do you call a dwarf suicide bomber?

A party popper.

What did the big tree say to the little one? Grow a pear!

What is the difference between your girlfriend and your sister?

They're both "sweet home Alabama."

What do you call a Russian man with three balls?

'Whodya nikabollokov'

My joke: You have to guess, answers come at 3:00. Why did the cow jump into space?

Hint... it smelled its favorite food 🍱 and saw its future!

That hint was technically the whole answer. Can you guess in 3 hours? Lol, I will be posting every time, and my giveaway starts at 5:00: my mega fly ride bat dragon 🐉 and five jungle eggs.

When you're a terrorist and you have a stutter.

A a a a a a a a ala ala ala ala ala alaog alaogbar.

I am the least serious person ever, but whoever is joking about cancer is vile :)

Get some fucking respect, you silly tramp!

What do you call an Indian man stuck in a tree?

A leaf.

What's a crazy man's favorite phrase when he has a knife?

"Freak out!"

I was dying when I called my sister and she said, "Hi, this is Pepperoni's pizza and abortion clinic; your loss, our sauce. How may I help you today?"

My friend is blind.

So he always says he cannot Nazi.

What's the difference between a high street betting firm and a prostitute?

You can get on with a prostitute!

Why isn't Stephen Hawking going to heaven?

Because he's British.

What do you call someone who is extra virgin?

Mrs. Frame.

Why can orphans only use Samsung?

Because they don't have a home button.

what do you call a terrorist attack in india?

a wednesday.

You: Knock knock. Other person: Who is there? You: Not your parents.

What do you call a man who likes rape jokes?

A fucking disgusting scumbag with no intelligence whatsoever. If you actually joke about this, you are the reason humanity has faded.