What's the difference between a Lambo and 200 children in my basement? One screams; the children don't.
Joke Jokes
A blonde walks in and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde comes back the next day with brown hair and says, "I want to buy that TV."
The seller says, "I don't sell to blondes."
The blonde asks, "That's it, how'd you know I was a blonde?"
The seller replies, "Because that's a microwave."
I told my deaf mom to be nice to the neighbors. She didn't listen...
I would tell jokes about Kobe, but they would just crash and burn.
Why did the dog go into the fire?
Because it wanted to be a hot dog!
What did Queen Lettuce say to her greens?
Lettuce eat Brussels!
So a girl says, "You're so ugly to me," and she says, "I’m the prettiest girl." I say, "Yeah, a pretty girl for an ogre 👹!"
What do you do when you get locked outside your house? You talk to the lock, because communication is key.
How do you fix a cracked pumpkin? With a pumpkin patch!
What happened to the frog that parked illegally?
He was toad away.
Get it?
What did the beach say when the tide came in?
"Long time no sea."
People say, "I like your cut G." Which is when you get a fresh cut. But I guess when you go bald, we can say, "Like your forehead, G."
I know it's really, really, really, really bad.
Hey Gwen, next time you're online can you go to "son jokes".
I commented back to you and portory.
Son: Mom, can I tell you something?
Mom: Yes, of course, honey, what's up?
Son: Ok, you have terrible jokes! They're not even funny!
Mom: Well, I made you.
Depression jokes are wrong, stop making them; they're cruel and nasty. So stop; people are feeling like they're hated when they read your orphan jokes or depression jokes, so PLEASE stop.
An orphan goes up to someone. The guy says, "Where are your parents?"
The orphan says, "Why do you think I'm wearing ripped pyjamas?"
Why did the number 5 get voted out of the game in the 1st round? Because he was an odd man out!
It may be weird to let people smell your hair, but grab the phone as soon as the dwarf says your hair smells nice.
Doctor: I diagnose you with obesity.
Patient: It runs in the family.
Doctor: Nothing can run in your family.
I would tell you a joke about unemployed people, but they don’t really work.
