Joke

Joke Jokes

Dad

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common?

Once they're gone, they never come back.

Dad

What does a dad and the Twin Towers have in common? Once they're gone they never come back.

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  • Friend

    Jesus and his friend went fishing. They both cast their lines out, and both of them get a bite, but Jesus's friend misses and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's a bad sentence to say; if you say it 3 times, something bad will happen to you." They cast it out again, and both get a bite, and Jesus's friend misses again and says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus replied, "If you say that one more time, something bad will happen." They cast out again, and Jesus's friend's line snaps, and he says, "Damn, I missed." Jesus said, "That's the last time something bad will happen." The biggest thunderstorm ever seen appeared, and a lightning bolt struck Jesus, and a voice came from the clouds, "Damn, I missed."

    Vampire

    I tried to get my blood sucked by a vampire, but he said I was too empty inside.

    Food

    I remember the time Gordon Ramsay did an African food episode... too bad it was so short he couldn’t find any.

    Orphan

    What joke do you tell an orphan?

    Knock knock...

    Who's there?

    Not your parents.

    Wife

    I just wanted to write something random.

    And now my wife is dead.

    Pedophile

    What do an angler fish and a pedophile have in common?

    They both like to hide in dark places, look creepy, and like to lure small creatures.

    Fish

    Question: What did the fish say when he swam into a wall?

    Answer: Dam.

    Slogan

    Me: You know what's the favorite slogan that Hindus like the most?

    My friend: What?

    Me: “kati supari kata paan katiyo ko bhejo pakistan.”

    Hen

    What did the swearing hen say?

    "Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, FUCK!" (It's cluck.)

    What did the cussing rooster say?

    "Cock-a-doodle-doo, phew!"

    Orphan

    An orphan walks into a bar and the bartender says, "Buddy, you have to go home." The orphan replies, "Where is home?"

    Sis

    Brendon, just shut up, no one was talking to you on the fucking joke! And my sis is not a female dog. If she was, then how the hell would she spell!

    Dinosaur

    My uncle said he wants to be a dinosaur. I said why... he said so I could be extinct 😭😭

    Life

    Don't ever say your life is a joke because jokes are actually funny.

    Headache

    A husband walks into the bedroom door holding two aspirin and a glass of water.

    His wife asked what that was for.

    "It is for your headache."

    "I don't have a headache."

    He smiles. "Gotcha!!!!"