Joke jokes
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
This joke here is the worst.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.
What do you call Miles Morales Spider-Man from Europe?
Kilometers Morales.
What do you call a rare fart in Egypt? A toot uncommon!
What did the shark say when he ate the clownfish?
"This tastes a little funny."
Apparently I'm not allowed home after house fires, but the neighbors, their house burnt lovely.
Me: Knock knock.
My sister: Who's there?
Me: I eat mop.
My sister: I eat mop who?
My mind: I eat my poo.
My sister getting it.
How do emos like their meat cooked?
Medium rawr.
1 "Knock knock."
2 "Who's there?"
1 "Interrupting physicist."
2 "Interrupting who?"
1 "Muon!!!"
Post your jokes in the comments below!
Well, if Stephen Hawking likes black holes so much, why did he call security when I put my hole on his face?
What has ten children crying, naked, and screaming for their parents?
My big green pedo machine.
What has 2 wheels and screams? A disabled [person] I dropkicked down the stairs.