Joke jokes
What did the rope and the tree say to the kid?
Do you want to hang later?
Son: Mom, what's dark humor?
Mom: Do you see that man without arms over there? Tell him to clap.
Son: Mom, I'm blind.
Mom: Exactly.
What is the tallest building in the entire world? The library, because it has so many stories.
What’s the best thing about 26 year olds?
There are 20 of them.
What's the difference between outlaws and in-laws?
Outlaws are wanted :)
What did the science textbook say to the math textbook?
You've got a lot of problems!
Want to hear a joke about construction?
Sorry, I'm still working on it.
What song can't orphans sing?
"Sweet Home Alabama."
What is Michael Jackson's favorite planet? Uranus.
Little Johnny: Hey, Dad, are you finally back with the milk?
Dad: Yea, but it's expired, so I'm going back to the "milk store" and get more (and not come back for a couple more years). :)
Why are these jokes bad?
They're literally the worst jokes ever.
Once I was asked to perform snail jokes at a stand-up comedy night. I certainly snailed it because the crowd thought it was shellerious.
How does a train dance?
It bogies!
What's the slowest train in the world? A slow coach!
This joke here is the worst.
I call my friends Dodo birds. Because they don't exist.
By the law, you are not allowed to have a sick bird. That's ill-eagle.
What's the difference between a light bulb and a pregnant lady?
You can unscrew a light bulb.
What did one twin tower say to the other? "Be back, I gotta catch a plane."
What’s a squirrel’s favorite OTT? Nut-Flix.