Joke jokes

Q. What do you say when your friend has an abortion?

A. May your baby rest in pieces.

"Nice pants. Can I test the zipper?"

I'm not completely useless....

I can be used as a bad example!

They say birds of a feather flock together, so I guess that’s why Kris and common sense haven’t met yet.

Yo, Leo, are you an interior decorator? Because when you enter a room, it becomes EMPTY!

Blessed Brian, your secrets are safe with me... because I wasn’t listening when you told them.

BlessedBrian’s mom’s birth certificate is a COLLECTOR’S ITEM.

BlessedBrian must have been born on April Fools’ Day... because he’s a joke every day of the year.

I would roast BlessedBrian, but it seems LIFE already did a thorough job.

I met a fat chick at the beach.

People started asking me what I use for bait, or do you want us to help throw the whale back in the water?

I ran into a fat woman today. She said next time, don't hit me. I said I don't think I have enough gas to go around.

Then the ground started to rumble with every step she took.

Last year, I gave my brother a BB gun for his birthday. He gave me a T-shirt with a bullseye on it.

I asked him what the bullseye was for. He said, "Target practice."

Some people are such "treasures" that you just want to bury them.

What did Daveon say when he saw a spider? "I'm Dave-on with this!"

Why did Daveon get fired from his job at the orange juice factory? Because he couldn't concentrate.

How many Daveons does it take to change a lightbulb? None, he prefers to stay in the dark.

Why did Daveon go to the doctor?

Because he was feeling "Daveon" in the dumps.

What's one thing that you can say about a train, but not your girlfriend?

"Rapeboat" so fat it made yo momma look thin.

Why did the rapper go to the dentist?

Because they're all about those DENTAL GRILLS!