What do you call a flat emo?
Cutting board.
Joke Jokes
How do you confuse a blonde? Paint yourself green and throw forks at her.
Why can't dinosaurs clap? Because they're dead.
What's the difference between an orphan and a corpse?
One of them has someone to mourn them.
What's the best thing about 9/11 jokes...
They make you collapse with laughter because the Twin Towers collapsed.
(insert funny joke about a dick here).
Did you laugh? Be honest.
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story...
A kindergarten teacher was telling a story about a farmer walking around the farm talking to the animals. She was trying to get the kids to interact, speak up, and to use their imaginations.
"Mister Farmer stopped at the cow, and the cow said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Susie, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Susie says "He said 'Good morning Mrs. Cow!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the pig next, and the pig said 'Good morning, Mister Farmer!'. Johnny, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Johnny says "He said 'Good morning Mr. Pig!'"
"Mister Farmer stopped at the chicken, and the Chicken said 'Morning, Mister Farmer!'. Billy, what do you thing the farmer said next?"
Billy says "The farmer said 'Holy shit, that chicken is fucking talking!'"
Little boy asked his dad why he was born black.
Father replied, "So the heat from the sun doesn't burn your skin."
Then he asks, "Why is our hair all frizzy like fuse wire?"
"So the coconuts when falling from the trees won't hurt you."
"Then what are we doing living in Rochdale? (England)"
Me: What's the difference between me and my grandpa?
Friends: What?
Me: I've been alive for the past 14 years.
My gf told me she was pregnant, so I punched her in the stomach.
She asked me why the hell I did that. I told her I wanted to let her know I’m pro abortion.
Do you know how to make 4 Albanians stand on a shoebox?
Just tell them that it floats.
A French, a German, and an Italian make a race to see who resists the most in a room full of flies. The French starts, and after a quarter of an hour, comes out.
Then goes the German, who comes out after an hour. Finally, the Italian enters and comes out after five hours.
The French: "But how did you do it?"
The Italian: "I killed one."
The German: "So what?"
The Italian: "And then they were all busy for the funeral!"
What's the best part about a dead hooker? The second hour is free!
What did one aborted baby say to the other? Nothing. They're both dead.
What do cannibals call a pregnant woman?
A Kinder Surprise.
If you kill an emo, Is it an assist kill?
POV: You call the group of emos the "Suicide Squad."
Knock knock.
You: Who's there?
Urmom.
It puts a whole new spin on meals on wheels. No pun intended.
it was just a prank bro.
