Joke jokes

What type of horse can jump higher than a house?

All houses can't jump.

What's the difference between herpes and my dad?

Herpes stays around.

Why did the emo kid like the all black Oreos?

'Cause they're dark.

Why can't orphans ever be criminals?

He is not wanted.

Why is he ourple?

What did the creep do when the woman said, “Make yourself at home?”

He hid in her attic.

What's the difference between an orphan and a criminal?

The criminal is wanted.

Your hairline is so far back you look like Frankenstein.

A man saw a kid on the road, and the man asked: "Where are your parents?" The boy: "..." The man left the adoption center.

"Knock, knock." "Who's there?" "Dooris." "Dooris who?" "Door is locked, that's why I'm knocking!"

Why don't orphans drink milk?

'Cause their parents have not came back with it yet.

Friend: “What's that on your arm?”

Me: “Oh, nothing. Just decided I wanted to cosplay a tiger.”

The other day, me and my friend were at the shops buying crafts. I was wearing a black top; she was wearing a stripy top. We were arguing about who was more creative when she asked me to prove that I am. I just said, "You buy your stripes, I make mine."

People keep telling me that I should stop making sh jokes... bro it's not that deep.

This stuff is messed up, you people.

What do you call an orphan's family photo?

A selfie.

Johnny is walking along, and a priest is coming the other way. Johnny says, "Hey, mister, why are you wearing your collar backwards?"

The priest says, "Because I'm a father."

Johnny says, "Yeah? Well, my old man's got three kids, and he don't wear his collar backwards."

The priest says, "You don't understand, son. I have thousands of children."

Johnny says, "You should wear your fuckin' trousers backwards."

To avoid getting drafted, a young man slips into a nunnery to hide from some draft board agents who are after him. Desperate, he approaches a nun and asks her to hide him.

“Get under my robes,” says the nun. “No one will look for you there.” The nun lifts up her robes and the man says, “Hey, that’s a fine pair of legs you have there, sister.”

“Yeah, well if you look a bit higher you’ll see a fine set of balls,” replies the nun. “I didn't want to get drafted either.”

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These jokes are darker than the list of victims dead from cops.