Joke

Joke jokes

Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.

When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"

I said, "I shit you not."

What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.

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  • A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”

    The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”

    The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”

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  • A fat man meets a skinny man.

    The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."

    And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."

    God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.

    What's the difference between depression and your ex?

    Depression fucks you harder.

    If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?

    A really fucking huge cricket.

    *at school*

    Nobody: Do you want nuts?

    Me: Wait, you have some?

    Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.

    Me: :0

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  • I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.