Joke jokes
Whenever I have diarrhea, my roommate gets constipated.
When I told him this, he said, "Are you kidding me?"
I said, "I shit you not."
What is the difference between anal sex and a microwave? A microwave doesn't brown your meat.
What does a perverted frog say?
"Rubbit."
A guy runs into a bar and yells, “Quick! How tall is a penguin?”
The bartender says, “Three feet tall.”
The guy says, “Oh my God! I just ran over a nun!”
A fat man meets a skinny man.
The fat man tells the skinny man: "When people look at you, they think the world's starving to death."
And the skinny man responds: "When they look at you, they know why."
God loved you so much that He gave you one face and started clearing off a place for another.
What's the difference between depression and your ex?
Depression fucks you harder.
If I'm holding a cricket ball in each hand, what do I have?
A really fucking huge cricket.
Hey baba girl, I have balls, you know.
*at school*
Nobody: Do you want nuts?
Me: Wait, you have some?
Nobody: Yeah, they're my own.
Me: :0
A guy ate your hairline because it reminded him of a McDonald's fry!
Why do we tell actors to break a leg?
Because every show has a cast. Get it, LOL?
What's a baby orphan's favorite joke?
"When am I gonna see my parents?"
Lmao.
I'm ashamed to admit feeling proud of the rape joke I posted and what went on between me and your mum.
I would make a 9/11 joke, but it just wouldn't land.
I told a 9/11 joke to my friends today.
It didn't land well.
Why did the orphan cross the road?
Because his parents couldn’t help him out!
Why is it okay to make fun of orphans?
Because they can't tell their parents.
Why doesn't a Muslim girl like her dad and namaz?
Because she has to get on her knees.
What is long and black? The line at Popeyes.