I gave a tree a high five, but sadly it left me hanging.
Joke Jokes
What's funnier than a dead baby?
A dead baby in a clown suit.
Why did the golfer change his pants?
Because he got a hole in one!
Knock knock. Who’s there? Interrupting cow. Interrupting c– MOO!
What makes sad people jump? Bridges.
Did you hear the joke about the baby with cancer? It never gets old.
Bully: Ha, guess what?
Nerd: What?
Bully: You are adopted.
Nerd: At least I was wanted!
I forgot you can't make depression jokes outside of Twitter, lmao. My coworker was like, "You ready for this year to be over?"
I was like, "I'm ready for this life to be over." He was like, "Bro, what?"
Why do orphans eat their cereal with water?
Because their dad never came back with the milk! 😂🤣
Can we stop talking about 9/11? My dad died, man, but he was a good pilot.
Do you know Biden?
Biden on these nuts.
Every time I tell a 911 joke, it bombs.
What goes down but not up?
An emo.
My Grandpa was supposed to be in 9/11, but airport security got him.
A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, "Anything you say can and will be held against you." The man replies, "Boobs!"
A priest and a child molester walk into a bar. He orders a drink.
A woman marries a man and has 7 children. The husband dies, and she marries another man. She has another 7 children, and later the husband dies. A year later she gets married again, and has another 7 children. She dies after a few months.
At the funeral, a man sees the priest looking at the heavens. He walks over and hears the man say, "They're finally together again." The man looks at the priest and says, "With her husband?" The priest looks at the man and says, "No, her legs."
I love making jokes about orphans!
What are they going to do, tell their parents?
What's the difference between a hooker and a burrito?
I don't eat burritos.
How many dead hookers does it take to change a light bulb?
Definitely not 13, because my basement is still dark.