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They always say you are what you eat! So I’d be nothing. That sounds about right.

Did you know that you can die from laughing? Well, that’s why I laugh so much.

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    • Two whores are watching the sun come up, splitting a bottle of Mad Dog and celebrating another night of servicing the general public. One asks the other: "Say. You ever been picked up by the fuzz?"

    Her friend thinks it over, "No...but I have been swung around by the tits a few times!"

    Timmy had 66 toys. He said it was "2 many (662)," so he gave them to Mr. Divide. He gave 21. Equals flip it over! It’s weird.

    There was one kid that came home from school and asked his mom what dark humor was.

    She said, "Well son, do you see that guy over there across the road? Go give him a high-five."

    Son said, "But I can't see."

    Mom said, "That's the point."

    - The emo went to give the tree a high five, but the emo was left hanging.

    - How did the gay person die? Homicide.

    - Why did the emo get kicked out of the amusement park? He was cutting in line.

    - When does a joke turn into a dad joke? When it leaves and never comes back.

    - I cried when my dad chopped onions. Onions was such a good dog.

    - I have happy memories building sandcastles with my dad, until my mom took his urn away.

    - How is the person over there different from cancer? His dad didn't beat cancer.

    I was a sit-down comedian, then I tried to stand up. I fell.

    I wished I stayed in the wheelchair.

    Um, I need help. How should I deal with depression?

    Joke: I wish my grass was emo, so it would cut itself.