Joke jokes

What do u call a lesbian dinosaur?

I like alottopuss.

So, I was on the phone with a scam caller. He said he knew where I lived and would kill my children and wife. Jokes on him, I already did.

How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips?

As soon as you open it, you realize it’s half empty.

What’s the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist?

You can negotiate with a terrorist.

Why did the orphan jump off of bridge?

So they can reunite with their dead family.

One like and whatever you say in the comments I'll do, but one rule: it can only be 2-4 hours in or out of Gloucestershire and South Gloucestershire.

Why is September 11th the best birthday ever? No one forgets it :)

I would make a joke about fat people, but they already have enough on their plate.

What makes an orphan jump?

A bridge.

I am the orphan joke.

When you call the Middle Eastern suicide hotline, they ask you if you can fly a plane.

Why did the sperm cross the road? ———— because I put on the wrong sock today.

A funny joke:

Knock knock. "Who's there?" Who. "Who who?" Ha, who who, you sound like an owl! "Fuck you!"

Another joke, I know they suck.

What is a depressed person's favorite joke? Their life.

What’s the difference between apples and orphans?

One of them has a family tree.

What did the farmer say to the doll?

You death baby doll.

What's the difference between a mother and a father? The mother always comes back from the shop.

Friend A: Do you like Wendy's?

Friend B: Yes, why?

Friend A: Wen-dez nuts in your mouth!

+1 like = 1 kid in my basement.

+1 follower = 1 kid in my Microwave.

+1 Comet.

"Knock knock."

"Who's there?"

"9/11."

"9/11 who?"

"You said you'd never forget!"