Joke jokes
What's the difference between a baby and an onion?
I cry when I chop an onion.
How long does it take for 10 dead babies to paint a wall? Depends how hard you throw them.
Why didn't the kid cancer patients like his joke?
He said, "You'll understand when you get older!"
Crucifixion - only one guy who nailed it... at least Jesus didn't get screwed over, but I bet he was pretty cross about being forced to hang around.
I don't have a joke about Christianity.
I don't want to get crucified.
A man went to a Ford dealership hoping to find a car, but he said they weren't affordable.
Penis.
A bully chokes me. I simply say, "Joke's on you, I like being choked!"
Knock, knock.
Who's there?
Interrupting cow.
Interrupting cow wh---
MOOOO!
I threw a Asian down some stairs. It was Wong on so many levels.
What do you call an octopus dad?
An octodad.
How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
5
4 to turn the table, and 1 to hold the bulb.
what's the difference between an onion and a baby?
nobody cries when you cut up the baby.
How does a blonde turn off the light after having sex?
She opens the car door.
Once there was this Whichdoctor. He walked barefoot most of the time, which gave him impressive calluses on his feet. He also ate very little, and the food gave him bad breath, which made him (wait for it) a Super Callused Fragile Mystic Hexed By Halitosis.
Did you hear about the boy who sat under a cow?
He got a pat on the head.
What's the name for a short legged tramp?
A low-down bum.
What's a skeleton's favorite meme?
Ken Bone.
Knock, knock. Who's there? Dave. Dave who? Dave proceeds to break into tears as his grandmother's Alzheimer's has progressed to the point where she can no longer remember him.
What's the difference between a fish and a car?
You can tune a car... but you can't TUNA fish! x3