Joke jokes
My man is a pussy cunt that sucks my dick.
Joke's on him, he just asked me for bobs and vegana.
I gave my friends some buttons.
Too bad he couldn't pull himself together.
What do you get when you stuff some cows into a food container?
A can o' bull.
How many dead babies does it take to change a light bulb?
Must be more than 9 because my basement is still dark.
Fuck you people who made those jokes! (but some were funny but the starving one is messed up!)
So, we are in class right, and the teacher has a metal leg. Every year she gets the question of, "Do metal detectors beep every time you walk by them?" She heard this question to the point where she just says yes without hesitation.
Once she had said yes, two kids in the back started laughing.
Teacher: Ok alright, take it a little bit more seriously would you?
Kid: Oh, we're not laughing at that.
Kid_2: We're laughing at cancer.
Why did Bob Ross die?
Because the paint brush stabbed him.
What's Stephen Hawking's favorite shampoo? Head and Shoulders.
We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.
Dark humor is like food: Not everybody gets it.
The world's funniest joke? Your life.
There was a guy who got his entire left side cut off. Don’t worry, he is all right now.
What's the difference between Stephen Hawking and a baby?
Both of their legs don't work.
A police officer writes a ticket for a car not being parked correctly. The driver asks why. When he realizes he is parked poorly, he responds, "Oh. I'm terribly sorry. You see, I'm so gay I can't even park straight."
Did you hear the pickle joke?
It's actually a really big dill.
A man looks at his friend and says, "If you and a friend go camping and you two get really drunk, and in the morning you wake up with a condom in your butt, would you tell anyone?" The friend says in a disgusted tone, "No." So the man says, "Okay, let's go camping."
Friend: How dark is your humor?
Me: It picks cotton.
What kind of containers does the Pope keep his vegetables in?
Vat-I-cans!
Why did the chef cook his eggs on the golf course? Because he wanted them par-boiled!
What's the difference between a potted plant and your wife?
The first is easier to bury.