How did Stephen Hawking die?
Windows didn’t update in time.
Joke Jokes
Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the street?
Because it got stuck in a crack :)
Two men are hunting. One asks: "Did you ever hunt bear?" The other one answers: "No, but one time I went fishing in my shorts."
What do you call 10,000 lawyers at the bottom of the sea?
A good start :)
Why were the Twin Towers knocked over? Chuck Norris was leaning on one of them.
What do you call a girl with no arms and no legs?
Names.
I accidentally bumped into a midget yesterday.
Me: "Are you ok sir?"
Midget: "Well, I'm not happy."
Me: "Well, which one are ya?"
Knock knock.
Who's there?
A murderer.
A murderer who--
Is cut off by being murdered.
I'm starting to wish my grass was emo.
Why?
So it would cut itself.
Have you heard the gossip about the butter? Oh, I guess I better not spread it.
How do you punish Helen Keller?
Leave the plunger in the toilet.
My friend made a joke about dogs. I said it was a RUFF joke.
My friend made a joke about a dog. I said it was a "RUFF" joke.
What's the good thing about fucking 21 year olds?
There's twenty of them!
What do you call a duck on drugs?
A quackhead.
Have you seen the movie "Constipation"?
It hasn't come out yet.
When did I wake up?
At the quack of dawn!
Why was the blunt pencil bad at making speeches? It never had a point.
What’s the difference between Stephen Hawking and the Statue of Liberty? The statue stands for something.
What's the difference between a man and a table?
The table doesn't cry when I break its legs.