Joke

Joke Jokes

Baby

What's the best thing about dead baby jokes?

They never get old.

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  • Elephant

    Where is an elephant’s penis?

    On their feet, because if you get trampled on, you’re fucked.

    Hitler

    I'd love it if you killed yourself, but Hitler killed himself and people still hate him...

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  • Lamb

    Mary had a little lamb.

    Key word is had, her dad's favorite meat is a human!

    Bout

    Person 1: Did you hear the joke bout 9/11?

    Person 2: No, but it'll probably crash and burn.

    Mate

    Two mates walk into a bar.

    Mate 1: "Shit! Look at that spider over there!"

    Mate 2: "Whateverrrrrrr."

    Mate 1: "No, seriously, it's bloody massive!"

    Mate 2: "(Turns around) Shit, that's huge, I thought you were joking."

    Mate 1: "No, I'm Fred King, Jo King's brother ;-)"

    Dad

    My dad always told me I should sing tenor. Ten or twelve miles away.

    Father

    So, a kid walks in the house and says, "Mommy, Mommy, I found daddy!" And the mother says, "Stop digging around in the garden, and let your father rest in peace."

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  • Orphan

    Why do orphans always get picked on?

    They can't run and tell their parents.