Joke jokes
A blonde, brunette, and a redhead are running from the police. They come across an old shack with three burlap sacks. They each hop into one of them. The police come and kick the one with the brunette in it. She goes, "Mew, mew." The police say, "Oh, it's just a bag of kittens." Then they kick the one with the redhead. "Woof, woof." They think, "Oh, it's just a bag of puppies." Then they kick the one with the blonde in it. She goes, "POTATOES!!" And gets arrested.
How can you tell the difference between a Christian priest and a zit?
One waits until you're twelve to come on your face.
What do you call the midget sea?
A pond.
Hey mum, why do people keep suddenly dying in our family?
Mum?
Mum?
Muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum!
You want to hear a cheesy pizza joke? Never mind, it's too cheesy!
Hehehehehe.
How do you confuse a blonde?
Put her in a square room and tell her to run in a circle.
Wanna hear a joke?
This site.
Have you heard of the invention of the shovel? It's groundbreaking!
What do you call a male cow who’s taking a nap?
A bull dozer.
Let me tell you how I escaped Iraq. Iran! (;)
How do you make a blond snowman? You can't, you have to hollow out the head.
What do you call a chicken looking at a bowl of salad?
A chicken sees a salad (chicken Caesar salad).
Did you know what my grandpa wanted for Christmas? A new ass because his one has a crack on it.
In heaven, the Englishman is responsible for jokes, the Italian man for food, and the German man for law and order. In hell, the Englishman is responsible for food, the Italian man for law and order, and the German man for jokes.
What do you call a fat girl with a rape whistle?
Optimistic.
The secret to dark humor is the delivery... oh wait, the baby was stillborn.
Have you heard of the movie "Constipation"?
No?
Because it hasn't come out yet.
What is the best type of snake?
A dead one.
To all of you who can't understand using jokes as a coping mechanism... you know what I will ask of you :)
What's the difference between your jokes and your penis? Nobody laughs at your jokes.