johnny was watching TV when you hear them say bitch and bastards so he ask hes dad "what is a bitch and bastard." dad say "a bitch is a female and a bastard is a mail." then johnny goes back to the TV and hears them say ass and shit so he ask hes dad what shit and ass means dad says "a shit is shaving creme like what i'm putting on my face and ass is a coat why don't you bug your mom." so johnny goes back to the TV and then they say fuck so johnny ask his mom what fuck means mom says "fuck means carving like doing to the turkey then a few minutes later Johnny hears a knock on the door so he answers it he then says "welcome bitch and bastard may i tack your ass" the people then ask wear hes parents are johnny says "my dad is putting shit on hes face and my mom i fucking the turkey.
me,'' i came home laughing'' parents,'' what's wrong'' me,''the teacher asked everyone a question luckily i was the only one who had known'' parents,'' good for you johnny what was the fantastic question your teacher had gave everyone and only knew'' me,'' well its kinda complicated but here it goes'' parents,''what is it'' me,''WHO FARTED.''
Teacher: Now class, if you are dumb, please stand up. Class: *no one stands up* Teacher: Oh c'mon. I know someone over here is dumb. *waves her finger around the left side of the room* Little Johnny: *stands up* Teacher: Oh, Johnny, you think you're dumb? Little Johnny: No, I just feel bad you're standing alone.
Johnny is very attached to his parents, he asks to take a shower with her when she gets in. He looks down and asks "whats that?"The mother replies "that's my garage" he looks up and asks what are those? The mother responds "those are my headlights." He then goes and takes a shower with his dad. He looks down "daddy whats that?" The dad replies "that's my car." He goes to sleep that night and wakes up because of a bad dream. He goes and tell his mother and she says "you can lay with me." He falls fast asleep then wakes up once more because of falling off the bed he gets back up and gets under the covers. Then he feels the bed moving he looks under the covers to investigate and see's them going at it he then yells "mommy turn on you're headlights daddy's parking his car in you're garage!" *THUD*
Johnny Johnny? Yes pa pa Eating Sugar? Yes pa pa, I am eating sugar because it is the only thing i can reach and you have refused to feed me for the past 3 days. You smoke 2 packs of cigs a day and you're mad at me for eating a little sugar. Smoking? Telling lies? Yes pa pa, you do all of those things because you're a chronic addict.
Little Johnny is walking around and peeks in his parents' room, catching them having sex. So he asks, "What are you guys doing?" and they reply, "Nothing, nothing! We're just, uh, making cake," and they send him away.
So he continues walking around, and he hears some strange noises coming from his brother's room. He walks in and catches his brother and his brother's girlfriend having sex and then asks him, "What are you guys doing?" and his brother yells, "Get out! We're making cake!"
So Johnny leaves and goes to his room. The next day the whole family is at the dinner table and Little Johnny turns to his sister and says, "So, you and your boyfriend were making cake last night, huh?" and she replies, "OMG! How'd you know!?" and Johnny replies, "Because I licked the icing off the couch."
Papa: Johnny Johnny Johnny: Yes Papa? Papa: Open wide Johnny: HAHAHA Papa: *unzips pants* Johnny: *crying* No Papa
At school, Little Johnny’s classmate tells him that most adults are hiding at least one dark secret, so it’s very easy to blackmail them by saying, “I know the whole truth.” Little Johnny decides to go home and try it out.
Johnny’s mother greets him at home, and he tells her, “I know the whole truth.” His mother quickly hands him $20 and says, “Just don’t tell your father.” Quite pleased, the boy waits for his father to get home from work, and greets him with, “I know the whole truth.” The father promptly hands him $40 and says, “Please don’t say a word to your mother.”
Very pleased, the boy is on his way to school the next day when he sees the mailman at his front door. The boy greets him by saying, “I know the whole truth.” The mailman immediately drops the mail, opens his arms, and says, “Then come give your Daddy a great big hug!”
Johnny: Mommy, Mommy! What is incest? Mom: Shut up and keep licking.
Why did Johnny not like the audiobook he got for his birthday?
Johnny was deaf.
Lil Johnny Looked A lil Bonny But then when he saw tommy he decided to bomb me
Why did the octopus cry ? Because his mum said he looked like Johnny Depp
One day Little Johnny’s class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?” Little Mary says, “The teacher is very intelligent.” The teacher asks them, “Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?” Little Suzie says, “They are very fashionable.” The teacher says, “Johnny, why don’t you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence.” Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy ‘Darling how does my dictate’ "
One day Little Johnny's class is having an English lesson. The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word intelligent in a sentence?" Little Mary says, "The teacher is very intelligent." The teacher asks them, "Who can use the word fashionable in a sentence?" Little Suzie says, "They are very fashionable." The teacher says, "Johnny, why don't you have a go? Use the word dictate in a sentence." Johnny thinks for a moment and then says, "Last night I heard Daddy asking Mommy 'Darling how does my dictate'"
What do you call a Navajo with a lot of cash?
Johnny cash
The teacher asked her class to use definitely in a sentence. Little Johnny raised his hand to answer, yet the teacher passed him and went on to Kevin. "The sky is definitely blue." "Very good Kevin,but the sky can also be blue or black." the teacher replied. Little Johnny raised his hand again as high as he could, yet the teacher passed right over him. And picked Annie from the back of the room. "The grass is definitely green." "Very good Annie, but it can also be brown." Little Johnny was waving his hand like crazy seeking her attention. Finally she called on him. "Mines more of a question, but do farts have lumps in them?" "Why no Johnny why would you ask such a question?" She questioned. "Well if they don't have lumps in them, then I definitely just shit myself."
Little Johnny went to the doctor to get an infection checked on his penis. As the doctor examined it, he asked, "Lil Johnny how did you get an infection on your penis?" Johnny replied, "Well, the damn neighbor Sally's braces are too sharp."
Little Johnny asks, "Mommy, where do babies come from?" His mother replies, "The stork brings them." Little Johnny, puzzled, asks, "Then who fucks the stork?"
