The second coming came and went. Jesus believed he was a Christian; therefore, he could never be himself.
Which company likes Jesus the most?
IHS Markit!
There never was a historical Jesus Christ. Hey, do not even dream of crucifying me.
My dad just found out and told my mom about one of their friends, Chad, who just murdered his wife, Claire. After doing that, he turned the gun on himself and committed suicide right after.
My mom's reply: "Jesus, Chad will do anything to get out of cleaning his mess, won't he?"
In the movie "Cars 2", there is a priest, which means car Jesus died for the sins of the cars.
What's the difference between Jesus and a painting of Jesus?
A painting only takes one nail to be hanged.
What is Jesus' favorite gun?
A nail gun.
Al Fayed’s son arrives at heaven’s gates and sees his driver.
He shouts “you stupid cunt!”
The driver says, “Watch, Boss?”
Dodi replies...:
“I said I WANT TO FUCK DI IN THE TUNNEL NOT FUCKING DIE IN THE TUNNEL!”
Your hairline goes so far back that it had dinner with Jesus.
Is that my student?
Na! It is Jesus!
Is that a person over there?
Na, it's Jesus.
"Jesus can turn water into wine, but I can turn your mother into mine."
- Sun Tzu, *The Art of Creating War*
knock knock whos there Jesus Jesus who Jesus christ open the door
What's the difference between a priest and a zit? A: One waits until you're twelve to cum on your face.
What is Jesus’s Favorite Exercise?
CrossFit.
Your hairline is so far away that Jesus could've seen it when he was on the cross.
I am sure this was the type of economy Judas Iscariot was in when he betrayed Jesus.
You are so ugly, when the devil saw you, he said, "Jesus Christ!"
A depressed man has been thinking of killing himself, and his friend says, "Find Jesus instead, he'll help you!"
And then the man says, "It's pretty hard to 'get help' from something that doesn't exist."
What’s the difference between Jesus and a picture of Jesus
The picture gets hung with one nail not two
