it's jokes
Yo mama so fat, when she walked across the floor, she fell through it.
Why can’t orphans fly? Because they’re still winging it.
My wife found a rock and asked if it was expensive, and I said it "leavarite". She said, "Is that expensive?" and I told her, "Leave it right there."
Do you know what it takes to beat cancer?
Heartbeat.
When you split Uranus in half, it is "ur-anus." That's why it has a butts joke. Weird.
Why do midgets have to wear a green bright jacket when crossing the road?
Because they will get turned into a pancake even more.
It's not funny, I know.
Me: Hey, have you seen my butt?
Him: No, have you seen where it is?
Me: Maybe here on your private part hehe.
Him: *dumps my head on the toilet* HAVE YOU SEEN YOUR ASS NOW, PERVERT?
I left Twitter for a while, and when I tried to log back in, I found out I was suspended. I realized it was a penalty for saying some prohibited words on Twitter.
Sadly, my idol Pristiano Penaldo took the penalty for me and he missed, and now I'm on my alt. Shame on you, Penaldo!
Cousin: Hey, is that an octopus?
Me: Yes, what, it is just an octopus.
Cousin: Oh yeah, ahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh! Octopus touch me!
Me: What, it is just one..... ummmmm dad cousin d[id].
So you decide one day to ask your son if he wants to f**k, do you do it for 3 hours, then you realize how will I explain another pregnancy to my sterile husband?
What is Osama bin Laden and his al-Qaeda organization's favorite song?
It's raining planes! Hallelujah!
Me: When I saw an orphan on the street in rags.
Also me: Are you okay?
Orphan: Yeah, what gave it away?
Me: Because you have no family.
Dora, where do we go next?
Kids at home: Area 51.
Meanwhile,
Dora: Let’s go deliver the evidence to President Biden.
1 day later,
Dora: WE DID IT, HOORAY!
Why do Vampires like virgins?
Because eating a sandwich would be so much more appealing knowing no one fucked it.
What is not the definition of prostitution?
A dumb blonde that got money for babysitting. Does it cycle now?
Yo mama so fat, when she ate one cheeseburger, she pooped it out immediately because her butt was too big.
What is it that a 🤔 😳 👀 😕 physicality handicapped ♿ male prostitute can do on his own very well without getting any help from his male friends that are gay like himself?
Perform fellatio on a 👨 👨 👬 gay man.
Your forehead is so big a whole state could fit on it.
Why did Kristen Stewart fart on the set of Charlie's Angels? Because she ate too much damn chili for breakfast I made for her. I just forgot to put my foot in it.
Here's some of my weird jokes:
What are rhinos? They're unicorns that let themselves go.
Joke # 2: Why do triangles try every angle of its house? Because it's in its name.
Joke # 3: Wanna hear a cheesy joke? Sorry, the mouse got to the cheese first.