it's jokes

What does a cannibal do after eating its vegetables?

Sells the wheelchair.

You are able to travel to the anime world, believe me, Michael Jackson did it.

What does a Rubik's cube and a man's penis have in common?

The more you play with it, the harder it gets.

I didn't get the joke at first, then it hit me like a plane.

Singing in the shower is fun, until you get soap in your mouth.

Then it's a soap opera.

Friend: How dark is your humor?

Me: .....it...

Friend: No

Me: *smiles* GETS BEAT BY THE MISTRESS AND GETS SCOLDED BY THE MASTER!!!

Friend: Why are you like this?

I was kissing my gal when the phone rang. I answered it, and it was a prank. I walked into the room when my girl had sex with me. Then we cummed the house full XD

PS free sex at my name

Don't you just hate it when your grandmas always complaining about things getting stuck between her false teeth, like my foreskin?

I like your mama's big butt, and I cannot lie. Your other brothers can't deny that she's fly. We make sexy time, yes and every night I tap that. She saw me butt-naked, now she thinks I'm half black. But your mom's the best, the super M.I.L.F. 'Cause she loves to toss the salad even though she ain't a chef. And I blame it on the al-al-al-cohol But if I were you, I wouldn't kiss your mom on the mouth at all. She likes the Donkey-Punch. She likes the Dirty Sanchez. Sometimes she even likes to fool around in your bed. She likes rough sex with handcuffs and I'll be honest She likes me to Chris Brown her when she acts like Rihanna. She's so therapeutic. When I need to cure my restlessness I br-br-br-br-br-br-br-br motorboat your mom's breastestess. I didn't wanna tell you, but I had to write this song 'Cause I'm in your house every night doin' your mo-om.

What did the fish say when it ran into a wall?

Dam.

I only have 4 moods:

• fuck this • fuck that • fuck me • fuck you

I empathize with the above, but I have an additional 4 moods to add:

• fuck yeah • fuck no • fuck my life • fuck everything

and don't forget the inevitable

• fuck it

and for those who have just given up

• fuck

This is beautiful.

Your forehead is so big and shiny it looks like a solar field.

What's the best part about plowing your cousin?

- It makes your sister jealous.

It’s true women do make less money than men.

But it’s their fault because they choose the lower paying jobs. Men, for example, choose the higher paying jobs like doctor or lawyer. Whereas women choose the lower paying jobs like women doctor and women lawyer.

A blond and her brunette friend were chatting about their boyfriends; the brunette goes on and on about how dirty her boyfriend is with her.

To not be outdone, the blond retorts:

"That's nothing! Once we were in the kitchen, I can't believe I didn't see it coming. One minute I turned, and he just got it all on my face! It was so thick and hard! It covered my mouth, my nose, my shoulders, and eyes. It even got in my hair, and when I looked up at him, all he could say was, 'Whoops! The flower went everywhere!'"

A boy breaks a vase, and his mom says it's ok, honey, mistakes happen. How do you think you were born?

Why couldn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

It got stuck in the crack.

My mother really hates my dad for some reason. Maybe it was because he cheated on her, or maybe because it was her mom. Either way, it really ruined her birthday.

I gave a blind kid a gun and told him it was a hairdryer.

Your mum is so slow, it took her nine months to make a joke.