it's jokes
My husband left a note on the fridge that said, “This isn’t working.”
I'm not sure what he's talking about. I opened the fridge door and it’s working fine? Anyone know what he means?
I hate this website. It's retarded and 4chan is better.
Is it bad to hit an orphan?
What are they gonna do, tell their parents?
Well... I mean, they could go to church and try to gather that someone hit them.
A Mexican boy said, "I can't do this." Then a guy says, "You can do it, we are Mexican, not Mexicant."
How many emos does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, they just sit there and cry in the dark.
One time in my dream, I had a dream that all people in wheelchairs could walk. It was awesome; I could walk!
How do Mexicans feel about Trump's wall? -- They'll get over it.
I have a big bag of Doritos in the kitchen. It's only for people who are skinny, but the fat people can't have any. All they do is suck it up like a lollipop.
"Do you have a noose?"
"Nose?"
"Yeah, noose- nose... I heard yours was stuffed lately--haha."
"I actually smell something--like a corpse. Is it you?"
"No."
*Dying on the inside has never been so detectable.*
Me and my mom order Chinese food.
My mom grabs the egg roll and starts licking it up and down and sucking on it in front of the Chinese delivery guy. I said, "Why are you doing that?" Then my mom says, "I love him a long time so we don't have to pay for the food."
How do you turn a baby into a dog?
Douse it in gasoline, light a match, *WOOF*!
I wish my grass was emo so it would cut itself.
I have a really good construction joke.
But I'm still working on it.
Your forehead so big it's got its own gravitational pull.
If anyone's gonna be fuckin' my sister, it's gonna be ME!
A guy bought an AMG and crashed it. Now he knows how the Mercedes bends.
I'm related to diarrhea; it runs in my jeans.
My new leaf blower doesn't work. It sucks.
How you guys not even know who did it? Hahahahaha.
My wife wanted a boob job. I told her it was too expensive.
I told her all she has to do is take some toilet paper and rub it in between her boobs for a few days, and they would get bigger. She asked, "How is that supposed to work?"
I replied, "I don't know how it works, but it did a heck of a job on your ass!"