it's jokes

It's amazing how many things rhyme with blue.

Blue, sue, stew, poo, screw, new, boo, do, rue, glue, you, to, too, flew, you, goo, zoo, two, moo, woo, ooh, blew...

Girl, is your butt made of water, because it is tubig?

We went running on our camping trip. It was past tents.

You: Hey, Alexa, what is your gender?

Alexa: I identify as Michael Jackson, and my pronouns are...

Me: *hears it* And their pronouns are he/he.

I was once friends with a schizophrenic emo. He tried high-fiving a tree, but it only left him hanging.

Why were the Twin Towers traumatized about eating?

After someone said, "HERE COMES THE AIR PLANE(s)," it just wasn't the same..........

Want to hear a pizza joke?

Never mind, it’s too cheesy.

Stop joking about Helen Keller so much! It’s rude, poor woman! You all just wait till she hears about this!

20 fridges are loaded onto a plane, only 19 come off. Okay, moving on. You took too long.

How many steps does it take to put an elephant into a fridge? (*Their reply* I don't know how many.)

3, Open the fridge, put the elephant into the fridge, and close the door. How do you put a giraffe into the fridge? (*Their reply* 3...)

Wrong. 4, Open the fridge, take out the elephant, put in the giraffe, and close the door. Why did Sally fall off the swing? A fridge fell on her.

Do you want to hear a paper joke?

Never mind, it is tearable.

I bought a silencer for my gun, but I don't think it works.

My victims still scream.

Three citizens were going through an exam to become agents of the FBI. Their instructor handed the first guy a gun in a room with his wife and said he had to shoot her. He walked out in shame and said he couldn't do it. The second guy had the same scenario. He put the gun up, but couldn't pull the trigger, so he walked out in shame. The third guy was put in the same scenario. He walked out and told the instructor, "The gun wasn't loaded, I had to strangle the bitch."

I figure it's ok to hit orphans.

What are they gonna do? Go tell their parents?

"I have cancer," the doctor said. "I have 3 days to live," but I was like "fuck it" and killed him. The jury said, "I have life in prison." I shouted, "Yes!" He said, "Thank you, you saved my life!"

What does a cat say when it's angry?

- Stop stressing meowt!

What's an orphan's favorite toy?

A boomerang, because it came back unlike their parents.

1) Did you hear the one about the school shooting? Actually, I better not... You wouldn't understand, it's aimed more towards a younger audience.

2) 6 was scared cuz 7 8 9, so why was 10 scared? Because it was in between 9/11.

3) 10 dead babies.

Why don't you see elephants hiding in trees?

Bc they're good at it.

How come the toilet paper could not make it across the road?

Because of the Corona Virus.

Why didn’t the toilet paper cross the road?

Because it got stuck in a crack! 🤣😂🤣