it's jokes
I wondered why there was red all over my bathroom til I found out that my sis had dyed her hair red. Man, it looked like somebody died in there! Lol.
Why did Sellwood get named?
It is made of wood that got sold.
Why is it better to date an orphan?
Their parents are never home.
Just do it.
It hasn't been the same since Kobe died. I can't say "Kobe" anymore when going to shoot a shot. Now I have to say, "Kobe crash!"
I overdosed on Viagra yesterday.
It was the hardest day of my life.
Would a depressed person enjoy a cat scratch? After all, it's a free slice.
How long does it take a black woman to take out the trash?
About nine months and a day.
So 666-3629, so get it?
Why do skeletons hate wind? Because it goes right through them!
How to harass? Say it out loud but slowly. Split that word into, and it sounds like "her ass."
Did you hear they’re making an Elmo toy to appeal to the Tourette’s crowd?
I believe it’s called the “Tic Me Elmo.”
I just want to say this...
You have NO maidens, (Explosion) No homies, (ExPlOsIoN) And no—please don’t say it! Rizz 😎 (EXPLOSION)
Your mama so fat that when Thanos snapped his finger, it only got rid of weight.
A pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel on his pants, a peg leg, and a parrot on his shoulder. The bartender says, "Hey, you’ve got a steering wheel on your pants."
The pirate says, "Arrrr, I know. It’s driving me nuts."
Mary had a lamb. Her fleece was black as coal. When I tried to touch it that night, next day I went to court.
How many rapists does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
Punchline: One, but they prefer soda bottles instead.
You ever hear of a reverse exorcism?
It's where the devil tells the priest to get out of the child.
How to get rid of your depression:
1. Stop self-pitying.
2. Realize you can't.
3. Fucking deal with it.
You're welcome.
What's the difference between a priest and a rabbi? A rabbi cuts it off, a priest sucks it off.